COMMUNITY ELIZABETH KAPLAN Features Editor K aren was just a little girl when her parents decided they could no longer care for her. She had Down's syndrome, the leading cause of mental retardation. They turned to their local Jewish family service. Workers at the agency agreed to help. They promis- ed to find a Jewish home for the girl. Meanwhile, Karen stayed in foster homes and institutions, hoping for a family. She waited for 11 years. No one wanted her. And then, when Karen was 18, it happened. A couple in Ohio expressed interest in adopting her. They already had their own troubles — the father suffered poor eyesight; the mother was blind; their retarded child had been kill- ed in an auto accident. And they weren't Jewish. Yet they seemed the perfect parents for Karen. "We want a child nobody else does," they said. Karen is one of hundreds of Jewish children with Down's syndrome whom Janet Mar- chese has placed in adoptive homes. Marchese, who will be honored next week with the Jewish Association for Retarded Citizens 1989 Humanitarian Award, is director of the Down Syn- drome Adoption Exchange. She's also the agency's social worker, bookkeeper and secretary. The exchange is a one-woman, volunteer organization. "She is who she is: too good to be true," poet and "mitzvah man" Danny Siegel wrote of Marchese. Marchese has arranged for the adoption of more than 1,300 children throughout the United States, Israel, Europe and other nations. She believes at least 80 per- cent of the children she has placed are Jewish. Marchese, who lives in New York, said she doesn't know why Jewish families opt not to keep their Down's syn- drome children. But there are many parents — the majority of whom are not Jewish — who want them. Usually, the interested couples are individuals who understand handicaps and who have had healthy children of their own. They are religious, though not "Bible-bangers," and general- ly reside on farms or in relax- ed, quiet areas. Janet Marchese and her husband, Louis, became in- terested in children with Down's syndrome because of her son, T.J. The Marcheses already had two children of their own when they decided to adopt more in 1976. While awaiting the arrival of two Korean girls, the Marcheses received a call from their social worker: Would they be in- terested in serving as foster parents to a newborn with Down's syndrome? "Down's syndrome?" Mar- chese recalled saying. "What's that?" Soon after, T.J. (Todd Jonathan), arrived. Three and a half weeks later, the Mar- cheses decided to keep him. The family's social worker advised them against adop- ting T.J. because "I don't think it would be fair to the other children to have a retarded brother." First, the Marcheses polite- ly ignored her comments. Next, they went to the library. They studied and read and learned everything they could about Down's syndrome. Her research, Janet Mar- chese said, led her to the con- The family's social worker advised them against adopting T.J. clusion that "not only I had known nothing about Down's syndrome — neither did most people. "So I decided we had to do some educating, and we had to do it quickly." Not long after adopting T.J., Janet Marchese came into contact with a man whose daughter had Down's syn- drome. He couldn't take care of her, he said. He needed to find her a good home. Marchese listened carefully. She had an idea. A couple in Massachusetts had expressed interest in adopting T.J. before he came to her home. "I always felt kind of bad about that," she said. So Marchese went to work. She called a social service agency and asked for the name and phone number of the Massachusetts family. "Who are you?" she was asked. "Oh, I'm Janet from the National Down Syndrome Adoption Agency," she responded. It was, she admits, an agency she created that instant. It was Marchese's first match, and it was perfect. The father of the adoptive family was so pleased he told Mar- chese: "I'm going to put your name in every service organization and in every doc- tor's office I can find." Thus, the National Down Syndrome Exchange was founded. Marchese does much of her work through agencies that carefully examine families wishing to adopt children. Sometimes, individuals — both those seeking children and those wanting to put them up for adoption — call Marchese directly. Marchese said she has yet tc meet a child for whom she cannot find a home. While two foundations pay for Marchese's phone bill and birth parents involved in the adoption usually cover the cost of the air fare for the child from one home to another, Marchese continues to incur expenses because of her involvement with the ex- change. So she works part time as a waitress and sells antique dolls, left to her by her grandmother. She also spends much time patiently and carefully dispelling myths about children with Down's syn- drome. They do not all die ear- ly, she said, and many can function at a high level. They learn to do many physical ac- tivities, such as swimming and sports, though it will take them longer than other children. Children with Down's syn- drome also will grow to be self-sufficient and can live alone, she said. But perhaps most impor- tant is that they bring to families unusual blessings that Marchese calls magic. "They have a great sense for people's feelings," Mar- chese said. "And they can teach you how to slow down and see things you've never seen before. "I remember the other day we were out in the garden planting flowers and T.J. call- ed me over and said, 'Mom, look at this little bug with the orange wings!' " And we all said, 'You know, that's really interesting. Orange wings. Have we ever noticed before?' "My husband describes it like this: it's as though T.J. has one hand on us and one hand touched by God." ❑ Janet Marchese and T.J. Big Ingredients For Kosher Food Fair ALAN HITSKY Associate Editor 0 rganizers have had to change the recipe after last year's Kosher Food Fair. Or find a bigger pot. An event that was expected to attract 500 in 1988 had an attendance of 2,000 waiting to sample kosher foods and family entertainment as part of the Neighborhood Project. This Sunday, Kosher Food Fair sponsors are expecting 2,000 and have an attractive program to match. "We have planned a menu of kosher samples" from area suppliers "that is complete from soup to nuts," said Norma Silver, director of the Neighborhood Project. "Someone should be able to go around the room and pick up a complete lunch, if you don't mind small por- tions." Food items will inlcude gefilte fish balls, farfel and kugels, main course items and desserts. The fair, at United Hebrew Schools' building in Southfield from 1:30 to 4:30 p.m., is being held in coopera- tion with The Jewish News and the Jewish Experiences For Families program. Addi- tional parking is available at Congregation Beth Achim, and a shuttle bus will connect the two sites. In addition to food, caterers and retail establishments will be distributing kosher recipes, discount coupons and conduct a raffle. J.E.F.F.'s Sefer Safari, Jewish reading program for kids, will be in- itiated and Sinai Hospital dieticians will discuss how to keep kosher and healthy. Six ponies will give rides to the youngsters and Franco the balloon man will create balloon animals. The Neighborhood Project, under the auspices of the Jewish Welfare Federation, offers financial incentives for Jewish families buying homes in Oak Park and Southfield. The Kosher Food Fair was suggested by its residents' groups last year. Dancers Join Israel Salute Detroit's Hora Aviv Israeli Dance Troupe recently represented Michigan in the American Zionist Youth Foundation's "Salute to Israel" in New York. The an- nual festivities included a parade and performances by various international dance groups. Hora Aviv is composed of the following members: Bela Greenbaum, director; Shelly Jackier, Fay Knoll, Barbara Herman, Eli Shalom, Michel Asulin, Janelle Teger, Judy Apel, Rami Goldstein, Michael Constan, Orik Dager and Ofer Levy. THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS 41 relaimuniim Matchmaker For 'Magic' Children Will Receive Honor From JARC