'SINGLE LIFE I
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Single Parent Groups
Offer A Place To Fit In
RICHARD PEARL
Staff Writer
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roviding an atmos-
phere in which single
Jewish parents can fit
and feel comfortable is the
goal of two recently organiz-
ed Detroit groups.
The groups are the Single
Parent Family Club, spon-
sored by the Jewish Corn-
munity Center, and SOLO,
sponsored by Temple Israel.
The organizations have
taken somewhat different ap-
proaches. The Center group
has held parent-and-child pro-
grams while SOLO so far has
offered adult-only programs.
A family picnic is scheduled
June 11 by SOLO.
Members of both groups feel
there's a need for programm-
ingfor divorced and/or widow-
ed parents in a Jewish con-
text. They said such organiza-
tions as Parents Without
Partners don't meet those
needs:
"I like to meet people who
are Jewish," said Michelle
Losonci of Farmington Hills,
divorced mother of 4-year-old,
Sara, who said she found few
Jews and more older people at
PWP meetings.
In addition, she said, "I.
wanted something that would
include the kids. It's good for
children to be with other
children!"
Losonci, a member of the
Single Parent Club, said that
at the first club function — a
spaghetti dinner that
featured a clown and Bingo —
"Sara and her friend Lauren
Nest (also 5) sat down and
talked. They talked with each
other about the divorce —
about how their dads don't
live at home anymore.
"There are so many other
groups around — groups for .
families — that going to their
functions puts us in an
awkward position. And for
children to see (non-divorced
families), it bothers them,"
she said.
The JCCenter wants to of-
fer programs allowing divorc-
ed or widowed parents to par-
ticipate in activities with
their children, said Stuart
Rogoff, family and teen pro-
gram director. "We want the
parent not to look at his or
her situation necessarily as a
single parent family, but as a
legitimate structure —
something in which the kids
can feel comfortable," he said.
About 20 adults and
children participated in a
JCCenter Shabbaton last Fri-
day .
American Red Cross
Blood Services Southeastern Michigan Region
Sherrie Stern, SOLO coor-
dinator for rkmple Israel, said
the group has taken an
educational and social ap-
proach. "We feel parents want
to know what other parents
say regarding- bringing up
children?'
SOLO led off with a talk by
psychologist Sonya Friedman
which drew over 150 adults.
The group's second event, a
comedy club dinner and show,
was less successful, drawing
20 women and no men.
Fran Stern of Farmington
Hills (no relation to Sherrie),
who helped plan the function,
was disappointed but felt the
low turnout might be due to
the group's newness.
Mother to Lora, 15, and
Brian, 12, the divorced Stern
said she is looking for other
divorced parents who want
`Sara and her
friend sat down
and talked. They
talked with each
other about the
divorce.
planned activities without
having to go to singles bars.
Because "my kids are not
into meeting other kids —
they're older and they have
their own friends," Stern
didn't feel the need for much
child-parent programming,
although "I would love to
take them to a baseball game
where they could meet other
parents. I think they'd like
the adult contact?'
Mainly, she said, she's in-
terested in meeting other
Jews, to share similar
backgrounds. "I have a bar
mitzvah coming up in
November," she said.
Members of both groups say
the major problem to date
seems to be the lack of par-
ticipation by single fathers.
"Non-custodial fathers can
come to baseball games, too,
and can feel comfortable
knowing there are others like
them," said Sherrie Stern.
Finding a new husband or
wife wasn't mentioned as a
priority b_y members of either
group,
"If I re-marry, I'd like to
marry someone Jewish," said
Losonci, the Single Parent
Family Club member.
That reminded her of
another good reason for such
groups: "If I meet someone
who's single and tell them I'm
married and have a child,
they're scared off." ❑
UI