FOR WOMEN

Mr. Philip Langwald

announces

THE GLADYS LANGWALD

MEMORIAL CAMP SCHOLARSHIPS
For attendance at Camp Ramah

dedicated to her devotion to Jewish
education for Camps with Judaic Content

Dr. Sol Gordon, left, presents a copy of his book to Rabbi Irwin Groner
following his presentation at Congregation Shaarey Zedek's Woman's
World event.

Gordon Advises Women
On Mitzvot, Relationships

Philip Langwald

MAIDA PORTNOY

For application and further information
please phone
Rabbi Bruce D. Aft at United Hebrew Schools
at 354-1050 or 352-7117

MIMS
1 111
ri th
Nib
4 16 lb
ge

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1 111111111111k

Jcc
Summer
Swim Club
1989

only $215 family $12 5 individual

includes:
Rosenberg Recreational complex
indoor/outdoor pools • indoor/outdoor tracks •
racquetball • squash • walleyball • basketball
May 29th - September 4th

for more information call 661 1000, ext. 265, 266

-

• must be paid in full
• doesn't include day camp member rate

76

M asterCard

Special to The Jewish News

T

he best way to meet
people is by doing
mitzvahs,"
says
psychologist Sol Gordon.
"Mitzvah therapy," in Gor-
don's opinion, "is far better

than family therapy, counsel-
ing or any therapy that exists.
Try mitzvahs first."
In his current book, Why
Love Is Not Enough, a book
that encourages people to
select mates on a rational and
intellectual basis, the pro-
, fessor -emeritus of child and
family studies at Syracuse
University suggests that
mitzvahs improve self esteem
and "represent a potent
weapon for tackling the pro-
blems of depression, unhap-
piness and loneliness."
Specifically, he encourages
his readers • to volunteer in
hospitals, work with the
homeless or for any organiza-
tion of their choice.
Another way of promoting
self esteem, suggests the na-
tionally renowned educator
with the off-beat sense of
humor, is to learn something
new. Learn a magic trick, try
a new recipe, look up four new
words in the dictionary, read
a book or call up a friend and
ask what's new. If the friend
replies "aah, not much," hang
up immediately," Gordon ad-
vises, "and call someone else."
Speaking at Congregation
Shaarey Zedek's sisterhood's
annual Woman's World, Gor-
don told his audience, "there's
nothing more energizing than
looking up something new."
He also informed them that
"love is blind for only 24
hours and then you have to
open your eyes and see who

FRIDAY, MAY 19, 1989

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•••■■•••••••01.10.0.4,-.0.-•• •

you're in love with. Almost

everybody who's madly in
love, after a few years of mar-
riage, is just mad."
And for those with fmaily

members or friends who are
dating undesirables, Gordon
had this advice: "If somebody
you love and care about is go-
ing out with the wrong person
and you try to tell them and
they don't want to listen, be
polite to that person. If your
son or daughter says, Tut
you're not enthusiastic,' say
`Polite is hard enough? "
Then, "invite that person
you don't like to an elegant
dinner with your best and
most elegant friends and
elegant dinnerware. It works
almost every time because
these people don't know what
to say. They don't know how
to handle it and your
daughter or son will notice."

According to Gordon, "We
haven't helped people under-
stand what really counts in a
relationship. You can be sex-
ually attracted to someone
who's not good for you, mad-
ly in love with someone inap-
propriate."
In his list of the 10 most im-
portant characteristics of a
mature relationship, in-
timacy, which Gordon defines
as commitment and caring for
another human being is
number one. A sense of
humor is second on the list.
"If you don't have a sense of
humor, develop one. When
you hear other people laugh,
you laugh too."
Communication is third,
sex is ninth and number 10 is
sharing household tasks
together.
"My wife thinks that
number 10 should be number
two," Gordon confided to