SINGLE LIFE

Israel's 41st Anniversary Committee
invites you to participate
in the solemn observance of

Yom Hazikaron

n Inv./A

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Groups Form To Help Singles
Over 40 Plan Good Times

RICHARD PEARL

Staff Writer

Monday, May 8, 1989
7:30 p.m.

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West Bloomfield, MI 48322

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102

S baron D. Stein and
Mel Hirsch say being
single over age 40
means needing a framework
in which to meet other Jewish
people.
"You're at a different place
than at 20 or 21," says Stein,
who helped launch the
Jewish Community Center's
Social Singles, for those ages
40 to 55. "You've learned by
your mistakes, and you've
learned a little more about
what you're looking for. And
you haVe more time for
yourself than you did when
you were younger."
Hirsch, a widower, helped
found the Singles Extension
Group for ages 50 and up.
"There was a need and a
desire for something to be
done about the situations of a
lot of people who were lost,
who didn't have something to
grab onto.
"It's a matter of getting
together and getting to know
one another — friendships —
because that's all we have to
go on anymore," says Hirsch,
who has been president
almost two years. "The most
important thing is to get out
of the house, have some place
to go."
The two groups are among
at least four which have
sprung up since 1986 to serve
the growing number of
Detroit Jewish singles over 40
who are either divorced,
widowed or have never
married.
According to JCCenter
Singles Director Leanie
Gunsberg, there are several
thousand Jewish singles in
the metro Detroit area, and
the numbers are growing,
especially in the over-40
group, due to the divorce rate
and increasing longevity.
The Social Singles started
last summer. Already it is
reaching out to almost 400
people. The Ibmple Israel-
based Singles Extension
Group, begun almost three
years ago, has 500 members.
And for those singles who
are parents — whether they
have custody or not — there
are the JCCenter's Single
Parent Family Club, in ex-
istence a couple of months,
and Temple Israel's Solo,
which had its first program
earlier this month.
Gunsberg said such pro-
grams are needed "because
the older a person gets, the
smaller his or her circle of

FRIDAY, APRIL. 28, 1989

-:.41.1.propoiewiftwommopowisorf.,

Al Kaplan and Rene Linden visit at a recent Social Singles' extended
happy hour.

eligible companions grows
and the harder it is to meet
people.
"Among the middle-aged
divorced and widowed, unless
they are going to be fixed up,
they find the circle closes up."
Stein says the group has
helped her meet friends of
both sexes. "We are trying to
provide a social and cultural
atmosphere for people."
Stein says her need to be
with her own age group
helped start the Social
Singles.

Divorced after rearing six
children during 23 years of
marriage, she found herself in
1987 at a major Jewish
singles dance where "75 per-
cent of the people there were
the same age as my children.
They were saying, 'Hi, Mom,'
like they did when they came
over to the house.
"It was like, 'Where do you
go if not for Chinese food?' "
So Stein, who had organiz-
ed a 21-to-35 JCCenter
singles group in the early
1960s, started talking with
Gunsberg to form a new
group. Forty-eight people —
40 female — showed up for the
first Social Singles planning
meeting in July, 1988.
Since then, she says, the
Social Singles have hosted a
number of happy hours at
various locations, a couple of
Shabbat dinners that have
drawn around 100 each, a
Thanksgiving weekend
dance, a sports activities day,
a Chanukah latke party, card
and board game nights, and
social and cultural functions
in conjunction with other
singles groups.
Main problems, says Stein,
include getting men to help

plan activities that will in-
terest and attract other men
— and also getting them just
to show up.
"We get a lot of beautiful,
classy women — it's a field
day for the men, because they
have their pick," she says.
Gunsberg says Social
Singles mailings go to the
metro Detroit area — in-

She found herself
at a Jewish singles
dance where '75
percent of the
people there were
the same age as
my children:

eluding Windsor — and to
Flint and Grand Blanc. She
says an inter-city singles
event is planned for Toronto
with Buffalo, N.Y., singles.
In the Singles Extension
Group, there is a 3 to 1 ratio
of women to men. "But that
reflects the real world," says
Hirsch, who adds, "We've
been successful in getting the
men out — more so than other
such groups."
The Group has seen about
12 marriages since its
inception.
One of the reasons for the
Extension Group's success "is
that we have some organiza-
tion. Once people see
something that is worthwhile
and is working, that's what
helps bring them out."
The Group has its own mon-
thly newsletter — six pages of
news, commentary, events
schedules and sometimes
even poetry. In addition to
dances that draw 150-200

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