JEWISH NEWS ANNUAL wound SPOOF

Boggs: What Me Worry?

`Two Ladies And A Belly Dancer'

A new Israeli comedy film is the hit of the season, the adventures of two Tel
Aviv grandmothers who think they are Golda Meir until they meet
up with a young woman who thinks she's Cher.

Talk show host Pat Sajak

Bogging Down

President George Bush has
revealed that his true second
choice for Secretary of Defense
is Boston Red Sox third
baseman Wade Boggs.
"Wade Boggs is a loyal team
player, and he has long been
outstanding on defense," said
the President, who told staffers
that reports of Boggs' four-
year extra-marital affair with
Margo. Adams "assures me
that he follows in the tradition
of John Tower."
"I want a man in uniform, a
man with impressive averages
and a man who knows how to
ignore negative publicity, and
Wade Boggs fits the bill," said
the President.

Arafat doll: You don't have to be a
guerrilla man to know which way the
wind blows.

Yassir, That's
My Baby

Shmatell Toys has announc-
ed that its international craze,
The Yassir Arafat Wind-Up
Doll and Spinning Top, is final-
ly available in the U.S. Long a
hit in the Mideast and Europe,
this life-like doll, when fully
wound, smiles and repeats any
message it is asked to recite. It
also spins in whichever direc-
tion the wind blows. (Deluxe
model recites all of UN Resolu-
tion 242)
A spokesman for the toy
company says the doll is selling
briskly in Washington at $242
(deluxe model recites all of UN
Resolution 338), grenades not
included.

Vice President Dan Quayle

Separated At Birth?

Leaning Tower

Shamir Holds Firm

Jersualem — Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir told a group of Israeli
soldiers today that he will meet with the PLO when "my shadow does the
Hora." He then stared at the ground in front of him for several hours while the
soldiers remained at attention.

26

FRIDAY, MARCH 17, 1989

John Tower (shown above) has a
new job. He has been hired as Can-
tor of Beth Elves Congregation here
and says he is looking forward to
chanting the Kiddush prayer "as
often as possible."Purim and Sim-
chat Torah are his favorite holidays,
he added.

Detroit's Newest Mohel

Murray The Mohel, Detroit's newest
Certified Mohel, alias "The Mad
Clipper," is now practicing (on
gherkins) at Sinai Hospital. Murray
says he knows the competition here
can be bloody but claims he is The
Cheapest Guy in Town ("I work for
tips") and asserts he is a cut above
the rest.