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March 17, 1989 - Image 25

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1989-03-17

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

JEWISH NEWS ANNUAL mind SPOOF

Soon to house a house of worship.

Dunkin Donuts To Open Shul

Dunkin Donuts on North-
western Highway, whose busi-
ness has increased since it went
kosher several months ago,
has launched a $5 million
building fund in the communi-
ty to construct a shul and Beit
Midrash (study hall) on its
premises to accommodate the
overflow crowds of Orthodox
Jews.
"Our Ma'ariv minyan is al-
ready the biggest in town,"
boasted owner Don Donut, who
isnot Jewish, "and we have the
earliest hashkama minyan
around. We simply need more
room."
Asked about his impressive
proficiency in things Jewish, he
explained that he has been
taking courses in food and reli-
gion at the Ate Challah Center
for Jewish Studies.
Dunkin Donuts, best known

for its Cholent Muffins, kishka-
flavored donuts and chopped
herring croissants, put in a
women's mikvah last week
near the kitchen, called simply
Dunk In, and will soon combine
its cocoa and suit-checking
services. "We'll call it Hot
Shatness," beamed Donut.
Meanwhile, competitors are
taking action. The Interna-
tional House of Pancakes is
planning to add a synagogue
and expand into The Interna-
tional House of Pancakes and
Prayer, and Zeman's Bakery
has organized the other long-
standing kosher bakeries to
launch a synagogue of their
own. "Ours will be a spiritual
project designed to give people
a taste of eternity," explained a
bakery spokesman. "When you
walk in you'll be asked to take
a number. And wait."

STICK IT TO YOUR
RABBI

With

GARFINKLE

TAN TA
TOYS

New Campaign For
Settling Soviet Jews Here

In anticipation of a large in-
flux of Soviet Jewish refugees
to Detroit this year, at great
expense, the Detroit Commit-
tee for Soviet Jewry has an-
nounced that it is launching a
special campaign to raise funds
for the effort and will be chang-
ing its sign, displayed at Con-
gregation Beth Shalom.
The old signs that read "Free
Soviet Jewry" will cross out
the word "Free" and now read
"Expensive Soviet Jewry,"
and the signs that once read

"Save Soviet Jewry" will now
read, "Save Up For Soviet
Jewry."
"We are very happy to put
ourselves out, at great ex-
pense, to bring these people
here so they can quickly assim-
ilate into American society,"
said a leader of the Jewish
Welfare Federation. "It's just
that we think Detroit should be
their second choice."
What should be their first
choice? "Anywhere else, "he
whispered.

Tigers Sign
Young Hurler -

The Detroit Tigers have
signed 12-year-old Mohammed
Morris of Ramallah, in the
West Bank, as a right-handed
pitcher expected to start Open-
ing Day. The youngster was
spotted hurling rocks at Israeli
troops during the intifada and
Tiger scouts signed him on the
spot, suffering only minor
abrasions in the process.
"He's a little wild and his
curveball tends to break in on
left-handed soldiers," said
chief Tiger scout Sy Cellar,
"but he's definitely an impact
player."

Morris readies a slider.

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

25

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