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January 28, 1989 - Image 81

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1989-01-28

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

1 11=0

■ 11 ■ 111b,

canopies, strolling violinists or a
12-tier wedding cake. It most
assuredly can — provided that's the
wish of the couple tying the knot. As
in marriage itself, compromise is the
key to planning a wedding. If a couple
can't reach a compromise when
deciding on the hors d'oeuvres,
perhaps they would be wise to
postpone making a marital
commitment until they are able.

Guest List

The good news about getting
married for the second time is that a
couple needn't invite Aunt Frieda,
Uncle Al and your dreary cousins
from Albany. The bad news is that
the couple often worry whether or not
they should. Perhaps the best way to
make up the guest list for a second
marriage is to take the advice of a
couple who decided that they would
invite only people whom they knew
would share in their happiness and
whom they were confident would
continue to be an ongoing part of their
married life.

How much family is invited to a
second wedding depends on the
family itself. If it's a close-knit group,
it's impossible to invite one uncle and
not the others.
Asking children from a previous
marriage to attend a second wedding
is also a most delicate issue. One rabbi
noted that when children celebrate
the remarriage of their widowed
parents and grandparents, they bring
an air of festivity to the event.
But, he adds, often there's an air
of sadness in some of the children
attending a parent's remarriage while
the other parent is still living. He
attributes this to the fact that most
children of divorced parents have
hopes — however unrealistic — that
their mother and father will magically
be reunited. When the second
marriage takes place, that sliver of
hope is dashed.
By the same token, the rabbi has
also found many children eager to
participate as witnesses or cherished
guests at their parents' remarriage.

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THE JEWISH NEWS 81

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