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January 28, 1989 - Image 24

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1989-01-28

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

Who Pays?

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Whether your dream vacation is a trip to Nassau or Nashville.
Skiing the slopes or hitting the beach. Touring
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you a honeymoon travel gift certificate, worth
from $30 to $200 per couple, depending on the complete
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Call the store nearest you for information:

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Eastland, 521-4340
Westland, 425-3386
Oakland, 585-8020
Ann Arbor, 994-0085

8902

©1989 Dayton Hudson

Masserman Photography

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355.0018

24 BRIDES 1989

ciously, it is not uncommon for
expenses to be shared, by both sets
of parents and the couple themselves."
Bride's magazine editor-in-chief,
Barbara Tober, agrees. "It doesn't
seem fair anymore for the [parents] of
the bride to pay for everything. Very
often the cost of liquor and food is
paid for by the families, sometimes the
bride and groom or sometimes all of
them. Expenses should be divided
according to how all of them want it
to be divided.
"This whole concept of splitting
the costs between the families and the
bride and groom is a wonderful thing,
and one family doesn't have to pay for
everything. It's the joining of two
families. The bride and groom are the
focus, young adults who can sit down
and work out the financial details in
a sensible way so everyone can have
a joyous day," Tober says.
That day isn't always as joyous as
hoped for. Many brides and their fam-
ilies expect the groom's family to offer
financial help but that offer isn't always
forthcoming.
"A bride's family shouldn't plan a
wedding over and above what they can
afford. There is no guarantee the
groom's family will offer to help," says
Yetta Fisher Gruen, coordinator of the
Bridal Desk at the Washington Post and
author of Your ikdding, Making It
Perfect. "Jewish families often offer to
pay for the liquor, the band or
something that will help take the
burden off. In some quarters, it
wouldn't occur to people to offer.
"The brides' families all ask me
how they can get the groom's family
to help. One couple asked the groom's
family, who lived out of town, what
they could expect from them. 'We're
coming to the wedding' was their
response. You have to [consider] the
financial situation of the groom's
parents. But if the bridegroom's family
does intend to contribute toward some
of the expenses;' Gruen advises, "they
should make the offer early." And
never, she emphasizes, can the bride
or her family ask them to contribute.
This appears to be the cardinal no-no
of wedding planning.

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