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42

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 1989

Take My Pledge, Please
Without The Hassle

GARY ROSENBLATT

Editor

Warning: Al-
though this is
about the
United Jewish
Appeal's recent
50th anniversary
jubilee celebra-
ii, tion in New
York, it is not for the prudish
reader. That's because Milton
Berle was in low vaudeville
form as master of ceremonies
of the gala production and his
humor ran more to the risque
than witty.
No one seems to be taking
credit now for Uncle Miltie
being the featured performer
at the $200-a-plate, black-tie
affair attended by more than
1,100 people in the Grand
Ballroom of the Waldorf-
Astoria Hotel. It had no
doubt seemed like a good idea
to the planners of the jubilee
production, primarily because
Berle had taken part in a
Night Of Stars benefit of top
entertainers at Yankee
Stadium in 1934 on behalf of
German Jewry. And now, five
and a half decades later, he
could be billed as again
headlining an array of famed
entertainers for an important
Jewish cause. According to
the plan, Berle would tell a
few jokes and introduce the
other performers, • but
whoever was in charge must
have forgotten that Milton
Berle will do just about
anything for a laugh.
So picture if you will this
large, dignified, elegantly
dressed crowd of the leaders
of the organized Jewish com-
munity from all over the
country listening to Berle,
who turned 80 last summer,
telling joke after joke about
old age, sex, and the dif-
ficulties of sex for older men
("like trying to play pool with
a rope").
He was vulgar and embar-
rassing, and the more the
crowd groaned, the lower he
reached. When Mary Martin
turned to leave the stage after
singing a song, Berle mock-
whispered to the crowd,
"She's 94!"
The Berle episode was the
tasteless icing on the inter-
minable cake served up by
UJA — one more case of over-
reaching at Jewish organiza-
tional dinners. Earlier in the
evening, there had been the
usual array of speeches and
awards — including thanks to
Harry Druker of Marshall-
town, Iowa and Louis Hur-
witz of Sioux Falls, South
Dakota who had each served
for 50 years as campaign

chairman of their respective
communities!
Highlights of the five-hour
affair included remarks by
William Rosenwald of New
York, honorary jubilee chair-
man, who signed the charter
that established the UJA in
1939, and videotaped greet-
ings from American and Is-
raeli political leaders, from
Yitzhak Shamir to Richard
Nixon. In addition, Simcha
Dinitz, chairman of the
Jewish Agency, stirred the
crowd when he criticized the
"political horsetrading"
among the political parties in
Israel and the attempt to
amend the Law of Return.
Dinitz said the Israeli
political system was "very
democratic — it's just not
workable," and he pledged to
do all in his power to maintain
Jewish unity and oppose the
amendment.
Would not that, and the
dinner and the orchestra,
have been enough for the au-

Jewish
organizations
would sooner
honor Waldheim
than give up their
routines.

thence? Dayenu. Given that
this was a major event, a 50th
anniversary for the major
American Jewish fundraising
organization, and that the
performers, including Shelly
Winters, Celeste Holm, E.G.
Marshall, Phyllis Newman
and Kitty Carlisle Hart,
donated their services, but
why contract out a full-scale
presentation, complete with
dramatic readings, and at
what cost?
After all, this was not a
one-time effort. Last March,
UJA put on a similar major
production at its Young
Leadership conference in
Washington that was clearly
overkill, with songs from the
Warsaw Ghetto and a dra-
matic reading by sex
therapist Dr. Ruth West-
heimer, who told of her ex
periences in the Jewish army
in pre-state Israel. But the
delegates had come for the
sessions, workshops, socializ-
ing and opportunity to hear
Prime Minister Shamir.
It may be blasphemous to
ask, but where is it written
that every Jewish organiza-
tion has to hold at least one
major dinner a year, featuring
awards, proclamations from
dignitaries, and lukewarm
chicken?
Anyone not convinced that

