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November 18, 1988 - Image 125

Resource type:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1988-11-18

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Author Martin Gallatin

Lover Shopping

Book tells singles how to be married
one year from today


Special to The Jewish News

ou've just entered the
supermarket after a hec-
tic day at work. You make
a quick stop at the vege-
table section and select a
ripe tomato for the salad you'll be
eating alone tonight.
Just as you reach for the red
plump juicy one, another hand does
the same. You think, "I've met the
mate of my dreams!'
"Just remember, love is just a
hello away;' says Martin V. Gallatin,
the New York-based sociologist and
author of Lover Shopping for Men and
Women: How to be Married One Year
From Today (Shapolsky Publishers).
The book, which took five years to
write, stemmed from seminars
Gallatin taught in 1978. Subjects
were: compositive thinking, becoming
successful and how to get what you
"Mostly single people showed up,"
he said during a recent telephone in-
terview. "I started to orient the


meetings to their needs; like where to
go to meet the right person!'
After several meetings, he
discovered that the singles weren't
getting results. So in 1981, Gallatin
started going out into the super-
markets, department stores and other
places to do his own field studies.
Part of Gallatin's philosophy is
that "you don't have to be married,
but you could be married one year
from today!'
Gallatin, who never married and
is in his "young forties, but
unavailable," uses the one-year
calculation because, "after a few

months you can pretty much know if
a person is good for you or not, but it
takes a while to work out the details.
A year is an average length of time
to make sure?'
Gallatin says his book differs from
another book How to Find the Love of
Your Life - 90 Days to a Permanent
Relationship by Bern Dominitz,
because his book is not as "simplistic
in its approach:'
The 276-page hardcover book,
which is available at bookstores in the
Detroit area, comes complete with a
gold-toned perforated wedding invita-
tion insert.

Dr. Gallatin's Plan For Being Married In A Year

1. Set a specific deadline for
each person you date.

2. Visualize your mate.

3. Know yourself and what
you have to offer.

4. Learn the necessary
dating skills.

5. Seek
6. Only get involved with
someone good for you.
7. Help make the relation-
ship work.
"yes" or propose
when you're ready.

"The reason I put the invitation
in the book is in order to get feed-
back;' he explains. "It's very difficult
to know what people think; they real-
ly just read what they want:'
lb date, Gallatin — who lived
several of his younger years in Detroit
— says he has been invited to three
weddings since his book has been on
the market.
"I feel great when I get these
cards," he says. "I don't attend, but I
do send a note, a video or call?'
Gallatin says he receives daily
calls from people requesting his ad-
vice on love. "I don't charge in-
dividual's for advice, but let's face it.
I don't make my living that way:' he
However, the book which is filled
with advice on everything from hang-
ing out at bars, safe sex and living
with rejection, offers some pointers for
those looking for love.
"Social success is the ability to ap-
proach anyone, anywhere, anytime
and begin a conversation, maintain it,
and end it when you want without the
fear of rejection!'
According to Gallatin, the dating



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