Friends, I thought bitterly, and hatred began to fill my heart. Will he accompany the Germans and help them shoot us? Will his bullet find its target in my heart or head? Beg for your life, his eyes command- ed me. But I would not. Never! Never! I wanted desperately to lie, but I didn't think for a moment that going down on my knees before a heartless Ger- man murderer would save my life. If they released me, would they look for my mother again? Call it what you will, anger, dignity, courage, or just hatred, I couldn't beg, and the mo- ment passed. Finally, the German finished. The doors opened, and the people were be- ing pushed outside. Suddenly Olga's father stood up and came over to me. Swiftly he swung his open hand at me. The blow caught me on the cheek, throwing my head to one side. Then his hand swung back, connecting against my other cheek. The force of his slap threw me off my feet, onto the crowd of the people. Olga's father stood in the middle Alicia Jurman: "The policeman said, 'Come with me. " of the room, his eyes glaring at me. Then something seemed to break in- side him. He turned and went back to the table, where he sat down. He fold- ed his hands in front of him and studied them. He did not look up again as we left the room. A blast of bitter cold air hit us as we stepped into the street. It must have been four or five in the morning, and the sky had taken on the eerie hue it often had when it had shaken off the night but not yet accepted the day. Soon we drove past the ghetto. I craned my neck, straining to see our little house just beyond the hill. But I. couldn't see it. I thought of my mother. Would she be asleep, or would she be pacing the floor, sick with panic and grief at having lost her fourth child in so short a time? Tears that I had held back for a long time were finally streaming down my face. Then we were crossing the Black Bridge at the edge of the city. And suddenly we were in the country, traveling into the misty morning. Two Ukrainian policemen were assigned to each sleigh. One faced the horses and one faced us, holding a machine gun in his lap. Maye if I waited until this man's back was turned, _I would leap into the snow and run for cover. It wouldn't be so hard. I could roll into the ditch on the side of the road. But what might happen then? My brother Bruno had been killed because one of the other slave laborers had escaped. They might line up nine people from the sleigh and shoot them on the spot. They might even kill all 60. Or they might simp- ly find some unfortunate person to take my place. I just couldn't take that chance. In the next village we passed children bearing knapsacks on their way to school. Their faces were par- tially hidden under shawls and hats. As they stopped to let us pass, they looked from the policemen to us with puzzled eyes, not understanding but sensing — the way children often do —that something was wrong with the huddled people on the sleighs. The sun rose higher; it was mid- day. I could see the outline of a city in the distance. It was a big city, much bigger than Buczacz. I had a terrible feeling as we headed toward it. The streets were crowded, and sleighs had to pull to one side to let us pass. People in the streets were shouting things at us, cupping their hands around their mouths, or shak- ing their fists. "Cursed Jews! Christ killers!" Some spat in our direction. It was around noon. We had been traveling about eight hours, when the sleighs arrived at a huge compound. They stopped while massive gates were pulled open and then continued through. As we pulled up before a large stone building, I saw that we were in a prison yard. "It is the Chortkov prison," I heard one man tell another. "They have brought us to Chortkov." We were quiet. Everyone knew that this was the city where the Gestapo was headquartered, and the central base for murdering actions in ghettos. "Get out of the sleighs!" Sudden- ly there were SS men everywhere, barking orders and insults. People were getting off the sleighs. Those who weren't fast enough were pulled or pushed to the ground. Rifle stocks and long sticks seemed to fly through the air as the Nazis beat and jabbed us. Arms were lifted to shield faces The Jew As Heroic Survivor Alicia Appleman-Jurman wants the world to realize that the Holocaust was not only a tragedy. Her book, Alicia, is also the story of incredible courage and the nobility of the human spirit. ARTHUR J. MAGIDA Special to The Jewish News p Alicia Appleman-Jurman: "Maybe an angel guided me." opular culture has reduced the Holocaust to "skeletons piled upon skeltons, bodies piled upon bodies," said Alicia Appleman-Jurman. "Films and books always show us the murders. They do not understand the Holocaust. They never show us the spirit that we had or how we fought back." In a telephone interview from her home near Los Angeles, Juiman said she wrote Alicia, a .heroic tale of her survival during the Holocaust, because she "wanted to celebrate the spirit of the children of the ghetto, the spirit of the Jewish people. I wanted to show the little hungry boy in the ghetto who saved three turnips for his sister. I learn- ed humility from him." "I wanted to write a book that would be a little star that would shine continuously. If you want to know what really happened, you can reach out to Alicia. If you need courage, you can reach out to Alicia. Frdm Alicia, you can learn that you have courage in time of need." All this may sound like self- puffery of the highest order. Readers of Alicia will have to decide that for themselves. But there is little deny- ing that the book moves Holocaust literature into a largely uncharted field. The Jew of Alicia is not the Jew as victim; the Jew led helplessly to the slaughter; the impassive Jew; the bewildered, confused, totally unresourceful Jew. The Jew of Alicia is wily, clever, determined to survive and too damned hungry for life not to. The Jew of Alicia — the Holocaust Jew, no less — is feisty and tireless, someone to whom life is an affirma- tion, not an ever-daunting, ever- diminishing ordeal. Alicia starts with the simplest — and the most chilling — of declarative sentences: "First they killed my brother Moshe .. . Then they killed my father .. . Then they killed my brother Bruno .. . Then they killed my brother Zachary .. . Then they killed my last brother, Herzl. Only my mother and I were left. I vowed that I would never let them kill her, that I would protect my mother from the Nazis and their col- laborators for as long as I lived." Alicia could not keep her vow. In fact, it was her mother that saved her by throwing herself in front of her 14-year-old daughter as an SS man shot his pistol at her from point-blank range. It was the last Continued on Page 83 THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS 63