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26

FRIDAY, AUGUST 19, 1988

Continued from preceding page

ing practices are now labeled
abuse. The further back in
history we go the more likely
a child could be killed, aban-
doned, beaten or sexually
abused.
Dr. Martin Levenson,
chairperson of the Pediatrics
Department of Sinai Hospital
and member of the JFS board,
says he is not seeing more
abuse cases than in the past.
"But I believe people are
more aware of child abuse.
And that includes pediatri-
cians who no longer keep it in
the back of their mind, but
make the possibility part of
their examination.
"When I take a patient
history, for instance, I now
often ask parents if they've
been abused as children
because there's a high risk
correlation between being
abused and becoming a child
abuser . . . Many are already
aware of what's going on and
have considered seeking help.
And now we have another op-
tion — the JFS program."
To find some of the answers
dealing with child abuse, a
research component is part of
the JFS project. Dr. Charles
Garvin, of the School of Social
Work at the University of
Michigan, will identify how
much progress is being made
by families who have learned
appropriate child-rearing
practices, which families im-
proved the most and why, and
what services were the most
beneficial and why. He will
also check how the families
use the resources and record
other variables that may be
important for future research.
Questionnaires completed
by staff on each case wil be
collected on a regular basis.
Many who have addressed
the issue of child abuse know
that the Jewish community
cannot completely eliminate
family violence, but it can
weaken the cycle.
"We're uncomfortable talk-
ing about child abuse," says
Rabbi Harold Loss of Temple
Israel and a JFS board
member. "But we must iden-
tify and recognize the pro-
blem within the Jewish com-
munity. We must face it and
speak about it more openly
and honestly so that we can
feel more comfortable about
it, and those in need will feel
comfortable about seeking
help!'
Kathy Kay, pediatric social
worker at Beaumont
Hospital, also believes the
Jewish community has a long
way to go. "I think it's a com-
bination of denial and the fact
that there are many private
resources available within
the community so that the
problem is not brought to the
attention of the outside

world," says Kay. "For in-
stance, at the school level
there are programs which ex-
plain and identify the
possibility of child abuse at a
child's level. The Jewish com-
munity should have access to
this information and to other
resources that are available?'
Gayle Back, clinical
psychologist in Southfield,
sees a growing number of pa-
tients who are young parents
and emotionally abuse their
children by continually talk-
ing to them in demeaning
and degrading tones.
"This is a more subtle form
of abuse and one which pro-
bably all of us, as parents,
have been guilty of at some
time or other," says Beck.
"Maybe it's because Jews
were taught to fight with
words and not use physical
violence that we use words as
weapons. But I believe it's
more prevalent because
parents are using their
children as a source of self-
esteem which often leads to
unrealistic expectations.
"And when the child fails to
perform up to the expecta-
tions, it's reason enough for
many parents to become
abusive. The degree of abuse?
Well, that depends on who is
doing the judging."

The more common types of
verbal abuse described by
Beck are:
which
• Discounting,
makes a child feel inade-
quate: "You can't do that;
you're not good enough to . . ."
• Comparing one child to
another: "Why can't you be
like Debby?"
• Criticizing the child for
not reaching our expecta-
tions: "You're always making
excuses; you're lazy?'
• Name calling making the
child feel degraded, unloved:
"You idiot"; "You brat?'
• Using your children as
companions and not letting
them be kids: "Your mother's
such a bitch"; "Your dad
never listens."
• Blaming your children for
everything: "If you would
have been a good girl, Daddy
would have come home
tonight."
abusive
• General
statements such as: "I could
kill you; I wish you were dead;
I hate you; Get out of my life;
you're driving me crazy?'
Beck also points out that
sometimes a behavior might
be a subtle form of sexual
abuse.
A frequent example describ-
ed by my patients is the
father who walks into his