YOUR DATELIN
851-0909
When you're not looking, we are!
CLASS
PACT
\\US C
358-5744
STUART ROGOFF
Piano Solo/Combos
the Orchestra
• a selective referral dating service
JEWISH SINGLES
F
Come to LO-LA
The Dating Service
IRST
OREMOST
INEST
REE INTERVIEW
Call 356-0949
Claire Arm
Millie Rosenbaum
P.O. Box 254
Lathrup Village, MI 48076
Breast
self-examination --
LEARN. Call us.
i'AMEMCAN
SO
CACICER
ETY'
from $ 203 " *
___7.10•• ■
Lease pymt. based on approved credit on 48 mos. closed end.
60.000 total mileage w/6e per mile extra charge. To get total amt.
multiply pymt. times 48. Subject to 4% use tax. 1st mo. in advance.
sec. dept. equal to 1st mo. pymt.. plate cost extra.
348.7000
HOURS:
Mon. & Thu.
'til 9:00
Tu., Wed., Fri.
'til 6:00
86
FRIDAY, JULY 8, 1988
42355 GRAND RIVER
Just East of Novi Rd. Novi
MARLA FELDMAN
LEASING MANAGER
I SINGLE LIFE
Single By Choice
Continued from preceding page
Kurtz is unorthodox in all
meanings of the word, but
stresses the Jewish side of her
make-up: "I feel like a Jewish
woman; I know my son is a
Jew, halachically, even
though his father is not. I
took him and my mother to
Auschwitz a year or so ago; it
was an experience none of us
will forget — and nor should
anyone else."
With her son at boarding
school, their time together is
during holidays, and even
then shared with his father,
but all the same very
precious. "I know," says
Kurtz, "that it took a lot of
courage for me to do what I
did, have a child as a single
parent, but it would have
taken more guts to have got
married!'
Another woman living
alone in leafy suburban Lon-
don has withdrawn from the
marriage stakes out of fear
that it would not work.
"For me, that piece of paper,
the marriage certificate,
ketuba, call it what you will,
is a definite non-starter!" The
speaker — "Esther" — her
Hebrew name because she
does not with to be identified,
came to the conclusion at a
very early age that marriage
was not for her.
"I was nine or 10," she says,
"the youngest of three girls
and we grew up in an environ-
ment of acute unhappiness
brought about by our parents
total inability to live together
in harmony. Their marriage
was a disaster; yet, because of
prevailing conditions within
our respectable community,
they did not divorce."
The parental home was
traditional non-Orthodox yet
strangely family oriented,
with uncles and aunts and
cousins as part of the
scenario. There were always
weddings and bar mitzvahs
and a lot of activities centered
around the synagogue which;
in Esther's eyes and because
of the continuing dissension
in the home, seemed
hypocritical. Esther is now
35. She is a beauty consultant
in a salon and lives in an
apartment which she has
built into what she describes
as her nest.
"I think before I was 30 I
might have liked to have a
child, maybe as a sort of ex-
tension of me, but I was not
able to take the responsibili-
ty alone, and the man I was
with at the time did not want
to know about such things
unless we were married.
When we broke up I decided
I would become celibate
because I just did not like the
idea of one-night stands, and
no decent man appeared on
the scene. I was working hard
and adding to my home."
All the same, Esther felt
she needed a special man in
her life and claims it took the
next five years to find him.
"When I look back and
remember how it was with
my parents, I could never
understand how my two
sisters could marry and have
children. Okay, they are hap-
py at present, but there are
always undercurrents in mar-
riage, even my analyst
acknowledges that, and I
hope I'm wrong about what
might go wrong for my
sisters. I find it awful how
cynical I have become. I
remember my father, whom I
adored, never being there
when my Ma was shrieking
`where is he when I need him,
and my sisters and I all know
that he was with another
"It took a lot of
courage for me to
do what I did .. .
but it would have
taken more guts to
have got married."
woman, and I thought, why
the hell doesn't she leave him.
I couldn't get it into my head
that people could tear each
other apart like they did. At
nights I'd hear them shouting
and screaming at each other
— the hate that flew between
them upset all of us but ob-
viously I was the one it af-
fected most?'
So Esther made her deci-
sion. "I will never marry. I
don't say I want to be alone
always, but there are other
friends, women I go out with.
My sisters think I am mad —
they feel that at least I should
find someone to keep me. But
I am independent, and as
long as I keep on working, I
can do my own thing. I did get
some money after my father
died, and my mother is living
with my oldest sister. But I
won't need to beg from
anyone. Now with my man
friend, we see each other at
weekends. I shlep him along
to some family parties, and he
does the same. I think he
would not mind getting mar-
ried, but he has been there
before and knows how awful
it can be. His divorce was hor-
rendous and he doesn't even
speak to his son."
Esther and her man friend
keep their own homes which
are not far apart
geographically. She cooks a
meal for him one night a
week and weekends they go
out, so she believes it works.
"The sex bit is not all satisfac-
tory, but when I made my
decision to become celibate I
knew that my own sex drive