I CLOSE-UP

THE NEW BAR MITZVAH

The New
Celebrations

`Strictly adult' parties have given way
to something special for the kids

KAREN A. KATZ

Special to The Jewish News

ar/bat mitzvah parties em-
phasizing the youngsters
are gaining in popularity
in the Detroit area. In-
creasingly, families are
commemorating their
childrens' Jewish coming
of age with separate par-
ties for adults and young
people, or by hosting a sin-
gle celebration with the
primary focus on fun for
the youngsters.
In years past, the bar/bat mitzvah
was honored at a simple kiddush
following services. Later, luncheon
and dinner parties for family and
friends became the norm. In recent
years, an array of innovative and
creative party ideas has evolved.
Some parents find that planning the
celebration is often as difficult and
time consuming as learning the
Haftorah.
Dr. Milton and Barbara Stern
were planning a dinner party at Con-
gregation Shaarey Zedek for son Ari's
bar mitzvah in September 1986. "Ari
said that if we wouldn't be too upset,
he really didn't want to be a child at
an adult's party," said Mrs. Stern.
"He felt the kids did one little ac-
tivity but that the party would be
geared more towards our relatives
and friends?' The Sterns changed
their plans, hosting family and
friends at home after services and
holding a road rally for the kids one
week later.
Ari's 15 guests were driven by five
adult volunteers — none of whom had
ever been on a road rally before. "We
started out at 2 p.m. by sending them
off to Baskin-Robbins for an ice
cream;' Mrs. Stern said. "The clue
poems were about Ari and our fami-

ly . . . An emergency envelope was
provided in case the teams didn't
figure out that the final destination
was the Coe Railroad.
There the boys had pizza and a
huge cake in the shape of a car. The
guests were given car-shaped holders
for pencils, paper clips and other desk
items.
"There was no winner," said Mrs.-
Stern. "We never wanted one team to
feel better than the others. This kind
of party is what Ari really wanted. He
is very much into building cars with
engines and this was perfect for him."
The family had discussed a trip to
Israel to commemorate Ari's bar mitz-
vah, but he told his parents that his
five-year-old brother might not fully
remember the trip and that the eight
Sterns should consider going to Israel
together for the next bar mitzvah in
the family.
When Jordan Maier became bar
mitzvah last August at Congregation
Beth Achim, his parents Elaine and
Ron hosted a luncheon for close
friends and relatives at the Excalibur
Restaurant following services.
Late that afternoon, 20 of Jordan's
friends met at his house to set out on
a mystery trip with the Maiers and a
few relatives as chaperones.
"This was a party for Jordan;'
said Mrs. Maier. "My son loves sports
and we wanted to do the things he
really wanted?'
The day included go-kart racing,
pizza, playing Photon, miniature golf
and a snack stop before arriving at
their final destination, an overnight
stay at the Embassy Suites Hotel.
The Maiers rented five rooms,
three for the boys, one for the male
adults and one for the female adults.
"FOr the kids, the hotel was the high

point of the party?' Mrs. Maier said.
"The only problem was that the kids
didn't really want to stay in their
rooms. They did, but they spent most
of the night calling each others'
rooms. The next morning we had
brunch before winding up the party
about noon. Some of the kids com-
mented later that it was the best par-
ty they had been to?'
A sports-oriented party was held
in honor of Jay Starr following his bar
mitzvah at Temple Israel three years
ago. Shelley, Steven and Jared Starr
invited family and friends to join 50
of Jay's friends for a night of tennis,
racquetball and walleyball at
Franklin Racquet Club. "It was a
kids' party," said Mrs. Starr. "A very
casual party with kids wearing 'Jay's
Bar Mitzvah' T-shirts."
Although the invitation to use the
club's facilities was extended to all the
guests, most of the adults chose to
come later in the evening for hors
d'ouerves and dinner.
"We had a DJ and an ice cream .
and cookie bar for the kids. I didn't
even have a seating chart, which
made some of the older people crazy
for awhile?' she laughed. "But it just
worked:'
Along the same sports vein, Lin-
da and Leonard Sahn accompanied 26
male friends of their son Nate to a
party and Pistons game at the Silver-
dome last year.
Following Shabbat morning ser-
vices at Thmple Israel, the Sahns held
a luncheon there for family and
friends. "We had a piano player dur-
ing hors d'ouevres, and Marci
Shulman sang Jewish folk songs dur-
ing lunch," said Mrs. Sahn.
"After the luncheon we came

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