SINGLE LIFE

Winning Proposition

Continued from preceding page

telling it's like cancer, it
spreads, it's fatal (to the suc-
cess of the relationship)."
Dr. Emmaline Weidman led
an experiential workshop in
which principles of "The
Spirit of Commitment" were
pursued.
The singles weekend con-

cluded with many of the par-
ticipants using the risk-
taking strategy encouraged
by Blake and communica-
tions skills taught by the
Hemans as they forged new
friendships at the happy hour
and dance at the end of the
two-day event.

❑

Fighting Fair Important
To Relationship Survival

HEIDI PRESS

News Editor

MARIA FELDMAN

LEASING MANAGER

104

FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 1988

alt MacDonald
helps a lot of people
settle disputes. No
he's not an umpire, referee or
judge. He's a psychotherapist
who tells clients how to fight
fair in a relationship and how
to solve problems together.
One of the featured
presenters at the recent Bir-
mingham Temple singles
weekend, Macdonald took
some time out to talk about
the need for play and for com-
promise in a relationship. For
example, he listed the rules
for fighting fair when a
disagreement arises: don't
discount the other person,
stay on the real issue, don't
bring up things from the past
and don't issue ultimatums.
MacDonald suggested that
when the partners in the rela-
tionship decide to resolve a
particular problem that they
approach the situation so that
the resolution is mutually
favorable. What if one partner
is unwilling to talk? It's up to
the other to invite him/her to
set a date when he/she will be
ready.
Values play a significant
role in a relationship, Mac-
Donald explained. "Often a
person's religious values will
affect everything else because
religions generally have a
code of ethics of what they
consider acceptable or non-
acceptable." However, he said,
that if one is not brought up
in a religious or atheistic
tradition, he/she turns to
television to learn values.
That, he said, is dangerous.
"The ethics (on TV) are very
loose. Garbage. And if yo put
garbage in, no matter what
you put it into, you're going to
get garbage out."
Play, too, is important to a
relationship, according to
MacDonald, who said 60 per-
cent of his practice is made up
of singles. How does he.define
play? "Getting the little girl
in you or little boy in me
together and having a good
time." He listed cooking,
building a snowman and
making love among "play"

Walt MacDonald

activities. "Play provides you
with the energy to be with
other people."

New Handbook
For Singles

Two single mothers, one
widowed, one divorced, have
pooled their efforts to create
a Selective Singles Handbook.
The guide, compiled by
Jacklyn Rolf and Betty
Scanlon, lists 290 clubs and
organizations, dating and
entertainment ideas, articles
pertaining to single life and
other information of interest
to single, separated, divorced
and widowed persons.
There are articles on rela-
tionships, rejection, single
life, loneliness, mate search,
communication skills, sex,
romance, flirting, love, per-
sonals, finance, dating, living
alone and miscellaneous.
For information on how to
order a copy, call Ms. Rolf,
689-6551.

Dance Party
Is Scheduled

The Singles Extension
Group of Temple Israel will
host a paid-up membership
dance party at 7 p.m. March
27 at the temple.
Newcomers who pay dues in
advance or at the door are in-
vited. The evening will in-
clude refreshments and
ballroom dancing to the