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February 05, 1988 - Image 97

Resource type:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1988-02-05

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.


Rating Your Love Manners

This self-test helps you determine where you
stand on the sexual etiquette rating scale

4■ Gossip — you love it, he/she
hates it. Should you hold your tongue
when you're out together or be your
chatty self?.
a. Hold your tongue.
b. Be your chatty self.


Special To The Jewish News


f you're loving it up, don't let up
in the pretty-please, thank you
you're welcome, and the pleas-
ure-is-all-mine department.
Good manners between a
man and woman may be a more im-
portant factor keeping a couple cou-
pled than sex, good legs or the
almighty dollar. For example, says
Marjabelle Stewart, the what's-proper
author of The New Etiquette, "Good
manners can take you places money
never could."
Likewise, not knowing social right
from social wrong when you're out
with Mr. or Miss Right may be one of
the reasons more than seven million
men and 11 million women — 38 per-
cent of all 22-to-44-year-olds — are
still single and looking. "Good man-
ners improve your love potential," ac-
cording to Dr. Melanie J. Rich, in-
structor of speech communication at
California State University, North-
ridge, and Dr. Kenneth K. Sereno, of
the University of Southern California
in Los Angeles. "They show you have
respect for your .partner . . . that you
care . . . as much now as you did ear-
ly on when your love was new."
Good manners are a matter of
round-the-clock give-and-take /
that improve intimacy and
make both of you feel 1 '-
warm, happy and pro-
tected from the rest of ---
the world, says Barbara
Cartland, author of Etiquette for Love
and Romance. "Getting through
social situations gracefully together
increases the affection between a man
and a woman."
It's not easy. Being both pas-
sionate and polite takes savvy. There
are a total of 27 his-and-her social
situations for you to get through
gracefully if you want to keep your
day-to-day happiness as a couple perk-
ing along, say Judith ("Miss Man-
ners") and Dr. Ruth Westheimer and
Cynthia Heimel, author of Sex Eti-
quette, and other experts who call the
shots in love-and-romance matters.
How do your love manners rate?
Take the following quiz. It's based on
information supplied by the Emily
Post Institute, the America Associa-

5 You get to the restaurant before
your date. There's no headwaiter, but
you see a free table. Should you grab
a. Yes
b. No



If you're a woman, should you
always let your date order for you?
a. Yes
b. No



Should you stick to your diet
even if your date takes you to an ex-
quisite restaurant?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Only if for health reasons.


8 .

You and your lover are having
a lovey-dovey lunch at your place. Is
it proper to have candles even though
it's only noon?
a. Yes
b. No


When the love that looked like
it would last forever, doesn't — what
do your return?
a. Everything he/she ever gave you.
b. Only the engagement ring.
c. Nothing.


Neil Beckman

tion of Sex Counselors, and it applies 2 . You and your date are -at a par-
whether you're single, married or in ty. You want to smoke, but can't find
transition. (Circle only one letter per an ashtray. What's proper?
a. Assume it means "no smoking"
and wait until later.
b. Ask the hostess to get you an
You're on a dinner date. You ashtray.
notice your makeup needs freshening. c. Scoot out behind your date's back
and have a quick smoke.
What's the polite thing to do?
■ What's the polite way to refer to
the ladies room.
man you're living with or the man
b. Touch up as discreetly an quickly
living with a friend?
as possible between courses.
face. It's more important than letting b. Date
c. First name
the soup get cold.


■ What's the correct way to get
to know an interesting looking
male/female at a social gathering?
a. Introduce yourself (or if he/she is
escorted, give him/her your number

b. Do something to call attention to
c. Ask someone else to introduce you.

■ You catch your one-and-only
making a play for another woman/man.
If it's not the first time, what should
your response be?
a. Read the handwriting on the wall
and start looking for a replacement.
b. Forgive and forget.
c. Give him/her a chance to explain and



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