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But a one-time close aide, former Cabinet secretary Aryeh Naor, says things are not that simple. Begin the commander in chief will never blame Sharon, a subordinate, for what happened in Lebanon, Naor says, but Begin the man will never be reconciled to the alleged deception and losses. "He doesn't feel guilty, but he feels responsible, and he feels betrayed," Naor says. "He'll never say it, in public or in private. But he feels it, and he suffers deeply. "Think about it. The man leaves his house once a year. Where does he go? The ceme- tery There is a burden on him that he will never let go." Aliza died of a heart attack five months after the invasion while Begin was away on a trip to the United States. She was his strength, his defender and his friend. His guilt at not being by her side and his sense of loss overwhelmed him. At the same time, Israel's economy was falling apart and the Cabinet, once subordinate to the charis- matic power of the old man, was disintegrating into a frac- tious mob of petty rivals at war with each other and with the leader they once had all revered. His health, never good, seemed to collapse. His energy flagged. And so he chose to hide. For a while, his friends and disciples said he was only biding his time, gathering up strength before reentering the arena. He was planning his memoirs, eager to set the record straight and bask in the glory of history. It never happened. Begin has stayed locked away. The memoirs — they were to be called "Generation of Holo- caust and Redemption" — were never started, the silence never broken. Others have tried to pick up the flag. Begin's only son, Benjamin, has challenged Sharon publicly about the war, even opposed Sharon for a position at last year's Herut convention. Sharon won han- dily, a victory that signaled the passing of an era and in- dicated that even the faithful recognized their old leader was gone and not likely to return. Begin stayed out of that fight, just as he shunned in- volvement in the last election campaign, in which his one- time close ally, Yitzhak Shamir, was narrowly de- feated by the more dovish Labor Party and Shimon Peres, a longtime political enemy. Many in Herut blamed Begin for not cam- paigning, for abandoning them, for seeming not to care. Israelis see Begin's exile through the prism of their own politics. The left has begun to revise its view of its old enemy: Begin takes the blame for his own failures, it is said, unlike today's leaders, hollow men who have ducked responsibility for a series of governmental mishaps. The right sees him as a victim, hounded out of office and driven into isolation by the jackals of the media and the peaceniks who howled for his blood after Lebanon. There is a little truth to both sides, says Ned Temko, a former Christian Science "Begin doesn't feel guilty, but responsible and betrayed. There is a burden on him he will never let go" Monitor correspondent here and author of a new Begin biography, "lb Win or Die." But at this point, says Thmko, even if Begin wanted to re- emerge, he may, at 74, lack the energy to do battle on Israel's contentious public scene. "If he could set everything right with a simple sentence or two, then he probably would," Ibmko says. "The problem is not just the Lebanon war but that every- thing else he prided himself for in his life — for personal- ly taking charge, for what he was doing — seems under- mined by that final chapter. "In 1985, when it looked like he might come out, peo- ple immediately wrote that there were lots of questions along with Lebanon that he would have to answer. I think he senses he's likely to have a rather rough ride, and I don't think he's up to answering them." Hasten says Begin has the energy but just doesn't want to expend it. "I saw him three weeks ago, and to me he looked as good as he did as prime minister, maybe even better. His mind is as clear as ever. He still has a photo- graphic memory, and he reads everything. "We urge him to go out more, and we beg and plead with him to write his memoirs. But he's a stubborn man, and you can't talk him into anything. He responds when he feels the situation re- quires it. Otherwise, he's will-