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January 22, 1988 - Image 26

Resource type:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1988-01-22

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.



,1/4 s

We are now a factory outlet
selling all current merchandise
at 40%-70% OFF

V , k

Please stop by for our Grand Opening
and join us for wine, cheese & sweets.


‘3_ sis\ v‘tvzo

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Continued from preceding page

`se ‘16‘c‘ s:3s •

Monday-Friday 10 a.m.-4 p.m.
Sunday '12 noon-4 p.m.


Cosmetic surgery at the
hands of experienced
surgeons will give you a new
look and outlook!

G. Jan Beekhuis, M.D., F.A.C.S.


Jeffrey J. Colton, M.D., F.A.C.S.

Specializing in all facets of facial and nose
cosmetic surgery procedures

announce that

Michael F. Milan, M.D., F.A.C.S.

Certified by the Board of Plastic
Surgery and specializing in breast
reconstruction, breast and body
recontouring and liposuction

is now associated with their practice.

CALL NOW... (313) 645-0844
for your free copy of our newest pamphlet
answering the most frequently asked
questions regarding all aspects of
cosmetic surgery.

It's yours for just a phone call.





30700 Telegraph Rd., Suite 4566, Birmingham, Ml 48010 • 313/645-0844

One Mile South of Temple Beth El

26 FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 1988

Dr. Gerald Gold, Lillian Schwartz, Mark Kandel, Eileen Abel, Rita Blaske
and Selma Eisner have a group discussion.

changes that take place: ten-
sion, insomnia, and feelings
of worthlessness.
"I've used the word lonely
before, but I never knew what
lonely really was until Lexie
died," Larry says. "I see other
people in the family but that
doesn't change my loneliness.
In fact, the only place where
I felt comfortable and not as
much alone those first few
months was when I attended
the Bereavement Support
Group meeting. A
camaraderie developed, I
made friends, and I was
touched and hugged and it
made me feel real good. I
could talk about anything I
needed to talk about and peo-
ple listened and shared."
Participants discuss their
feelings of powerlessness at

the seventh session. Research
in bereavement demonstrates
that the survivor's feelings
about their loss of ability to
control events is universal.
"They convince themselves
that they have no control over
their own lives and they
begin to believe it," comments
Mrs. Schiff. "We remind them
that they do still have con-
The final session focuses on
accepting the death of the lov-
ed one. Emotions and con-
cerns are summarized and
positive attitudes and actions
are reinforced as participants
come to grips with their
"It's usually at this
meeting that some will bring
in photos of the person who
died, or ask what to do about

What To Say

Some people have a
natural gift for comforting
others. Instinctively, they
seem to know just what to
say to ease the pain and
provide support. Most of us
are uncomfortable and un-
sure of ourselves when
there has been a death.
Because we don't know the
"right thing" to do, we
don't do anything, and
then feel guilty about it.
Below are some sugges-
tions to help make a
bereaved person's life a lit-
tle more comfortable:
• Any show of concern,
sympathy or support is
helpful and appreciated.
• Go to the person and
make yourself available.
You may have your efforts
rejected but don't take it
personally and try again.
• Care about the person
without worrying about
becoming involved.
• Listen
• Encourage the person
to talk about the one he
lost. Remembering and
talking is an important
part of the grieving
• Accept the person's

tears. Sometimes people,
especially men, need per-
mission to cry. If you feel
the person is holding back
tears, let him know it's all
right to cry.
• Have confidence in the
person's ability to adapt.
This confidence is often
best communicated in an
unspoken manner. Saying
"you'll be all right" may
make the person feel more
• Grief takes time and
cannot be hurried. Don't
put time limits on your
sympathy and get impa-
tient with people whom we
feel should "snap out of it."
• Offer solid practical
help. Offer to take care of
the children or cook a
• Encourage profes-
sional help if needed.
• Don't offer false com-
fort by making statements
like "At least the suffering
is over," "You'll get over it
in time," or "It's God's
will." These may make you
feel better but not help the
bereaved. While pity may
be resented, a simple ex-
pression of sorrow shared
is appreciated.

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