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DAVE'S DELICATESSEN

3258 ORCHARD LAKE RD.

681-3537

Open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Mon. Thru Thurs.
Closed Sun.
Fri. & Sat. 9 a.m. to 10 p.m.

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Memorable Waiters
And Unending Spiels

DANNY RASKIN

Local Columnist

T

Dining & Spirits

(Former Location of Dimitri's of Southfield)
25080 SOUTHFIELD RD. AT 10 MILE • ENTRANCE IN REAR • 443-1800
Saturday 4 p.m. to 1 a.m.
Monday Thru Friday 11 a.m. to 12 Mid.

Specializing In
FRESH SEAFOOD
Also Steaks, Chops, Veal

COMING IN JANUARY! DANCING & LIVE ENTERTAINMENT!
BANQUET FACILITIES AVAILABLE ANY DAY FOR ALL OCCASIONS
■

a

TO ALL
OUR
CUSTOMERS & FRIENDS

With Many Thanks For
Your Wonderful Support During The
Past Two Years.

Please Give Us The Opportunity
To Serve You Again In The Future.

VICTORIAN ROOM

Italian Cuisine
751-6880
3601 12 Mile Road Between Ryan & Dequindre
Lunch — Mon. Thru Fri. 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.
Dinner — Mon. Thru Thurs. 4 p.m. to 10 p.m.
Fri. & Sat. 4 p.m. to 11 p.m.

88

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11, 1987

he Mystery Muncher
writes . . . "We're al-
ways impressed with
the photographic memories of
waitpersons who rattle off the
specials of the day, never
varying the script from table
to table. The problem for
many of us is that our
memories aren't that swift.
By the time we've heard the
last concoction on the list,
we've forgotten the first.
"An ingenious chef will top
fish and meat with a variety
of sauces including such in-
gredients as hazlenuts,
raspberry flambe, brandy,
sour cream and peppercorns.
Most people don't ask for the
recipe, especially those who
like their food unadulterated.
"Waitpersons in some
gourmet restaurants rave on
and on about the premier chef
and recite every ingredient in
his or her innovative prepara-
tions. That can be a turnoff if
you remember them. often,
the narrator disappears after
the presentation and you're
starving with nary a piece of
bread on your table.
"The waitperson is now
reiterating the speech ver-
batim to other long-suffering
diners. For the wine lovers, a
special speech is prepared to
describe the color, taste, tex-
ture, date and origin of the
vintage.
"If you're thirsty and
haven't ordered wine or a
mixed drink, don't expect ice
water to be served immediate-
ly. Some gourmet dining spots
advocate a slow-paced,
leisurely, continental inges-
tion. That's fine in Italy
where you at least get bread
before you order.
"When your stomach
growls in an elegant
restaurant, it's highly embar-
rasing, especially if you're
trying to impress someone
with your panache and savoir-
faire. At last, you breathe a
sigh of relief with your last
breath. It seems you are going
to be waited on.
"Some diners wouldn't
think of ordering the specials
because no price is quoted.
It's gauche to ask so you
usually settle for some item
on the menu. The waitperson
will suggest some expensive
appetizer like caviar, morel
mushrooms, escargot
Bourguigonne or pate.
"No matter what you
decide, your bill will probably
be in the $50-$100 range for
a party of two. If you're lucky,

the bread and butter is
included.
"The trick is to keep you
waiting long enough without
bread and water so that
everything looks wonderful
and you end up blowing your
wad including a hefty tip.
Sometimes the portions are
minute and the food may look
better than it tastes.
"You are, after all, paying
for the ambience, the white
tablecloths, the fine china
and the expensive silverware.
That's little consolation when
you're panting from hunger.
You can bet your bottom ar-
tichoke heart that the salad
will be skimpy and boring
and the dressing too vinegary.
The fancier the lettuce, the
more inedible it may be. The
salad will no doubt be a la
carte.
"Perhaps you enjoy con-
somme madrilene with red
caviar, gazpacho, vichysoisse,
lobster bisque or onion soup
gratinee. If you dig plain old
vegetable or chicken noodle,
you're in the wrong pew.
"Now you're ready for your
entree which could turn out
to be something other than
what you thought you had
ordered. If it tastes
unfamiliar, you struggle
through anyway, proving
you're a gourmet diner with
class.
"The dessert tray or cart is
a real killer. Your waitperson
once again delivers an elocu-
tion on white chocolate
mousse, chocolate pecan pas-
sion, hazlenut torte heavy on
the whipped cream, blueberry
cheesecake and fresh straw-
berries with Grand Marnier.
You're likely to settle for a
seven-layer pastry with two
forks and an extra plate if you
can get it. You and your din-
ner companion will complain
that the cake is too rich and
fattening. But you'll complain
even more when you get the
bill.
"Your waitperson will even-
tually leave the tab on the
table along with fancy mints
an announce, 'I'll take that
up whenever you're ready.'
You've been sitting there
three hours so you're more
than ready but your waitper-
son has disappeared. The
staff has been trained not to
appear too anxious to collect.
Waitpersons also give you
plenty of time to figure out
the tip on your pocket
calculator while they ply you
with coffee and plug the
fascinating array of after-
dinner drinks.
You tell your friends about