MOD TECH FURNITURE, INC.
•Bloom so6 Bloom •
ri ri
y
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manufacturer of custom furniture
• WOODS
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that her husband has been
killed, a long process begins
as the woman gives up her
role as a member of a couple
to take on a new role as a
widow," Malkinson says. "The
role of widow can be either a
transitory or a continuous
one. We don't have clear
norms regarding the role of
the widow."
According to Golan, the
formal status of widow does
not always coincide with the
woman's acceptance of the
role. During the early stages
of widowhood, a woman is
often uncertain about what to
do in this new status. Only
when the finality of her hus-
band's death is fully grasped
can the woman begin her
recovery.
The transition process for
the widow involves learning
to mourn, then discovering
how to close the period of
mourning. In Israel, where
the population comes from all
over the world, women of dif-
ferent backgrounds mourn
differently.
Women who came from the
so-called Oriental societies of
North Africa and the Middle
East are allowed by the
cultural norms to express
their grief by mourning
visibly. Sobbing, fainting, and
tearing hair and clothes are
"acceptable" behaviors for
women who have just lost
their husbands.
However, for women raised
in western cultures, emotional
displays of grief are not the
norm. These women often
carry a heavy burden inside
and suffer from unresolved
grief, Israeli researchers have
found.
Some symbolic activities
which may help women end
their mourning are a visit to
the cemetery, a memorial ser-
vice, even writing a letter to
their deceased husband. The
observance of "shivah," the
week of ritual mourning, has
been shown to ease the im-
mediate situation by pro-
viding the opportunity for
open, shared bereavement,
according to Hebrew Univer-
sity sociologist Lea Shamgar-
Handelman.
In group therapy, the
women are encouraged to deal
with their grief through
therapeutic techniques such
as letter-writing and drawing.
At the end of the two-year
period during which she
worked with the widows'
group, Malkinson had each
one bring in an object that
represented "saying goodbye"
to her husband for use in a
"leave-taking" ritual.
One sign that a woman has
made the transition from
widow to woman is the abili-
ty to date again, and to
remarry. However, there are
no Israeli societal norms that
559-1969
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Marilyn J. Gold. - Agency
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