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plains. "When I spent
holidays with Jewish friends
I felt like a visitor, not like
family. Judaism is a family-
oriented religion. Family and
the home have a lot to do with
the celebration of most of the
holidays and Shabbat, and I
was alone in that and I didn't
know if I was going to be com-
fortable doing that.
"I thought about marriage.
How many black Jewish men •
am I going to find in the
world? And if I don't, how am
I going to raise the children?"
Just over a year ago
Finkelstein married a Detroit
area white Jew, a man she
has known since her
freshman and his sophomore
year at Brandeis. They
became friends while living
in the same dormitory in
1973.
Within the same time span,
Finkelstein formalized her
conversion, moved to Detroit
from Boston, left her close
friends, bought a house, found
a job as a public relations
practitioner, and has begun
rebuilding her network of pro-
fessional contacts. She now
has a Jewish family of her
own with whom to share the
holidays.
"I know there are people
who queStion a convert's
sincerity when they convert
near the time of marriage.
But I did not convert at my
husband's behest. This was
my own decision. I was not
making anybody happy but
myself," she says. "I feel I
have been Jewish for years.
The conversion was just a for-
mality."
When asked about her
Christian family, Finkel-
stein answers that they had a
minimal reaction to her con-
version. "I've always been a
child who's done what she
wanted to do. They'd have
been shocked if I'd married
traditionally."
But she has an intellectual
and spiritual need to go home
to her family for the
Christmas holidays. "Juda-
ism emphasizes family. Mine
still has an enormous role to
play in my life and I in theirs.
It is very unrealistic to think
otherwise. By being with my
family at a family time
doesn't mean I am going to
reconvert or get sucked up in
it.
, "My family always stressed
individuality, and doing what
brought you happiness. My
82-year-old father has a mot-
to: 'Well, you're grown now,
God bless you He also says
he can't worry about
everything. Of my five sibl-
ings, one sister is now
Catholic and one sister is
Episcopalian."
Although the Finkelsteins
belong to Temple Kol Ami,
she says she hasn't had time
to get into the Jewish com-
munity here and is a little shy
about doing so. Before, if she
was met with cold reactions
or strange looks, she had
friends with her. She has
spent her time here getting to
know her husband's family,
painting and decorating their
new home, and learning to
drive everywhere instead of
walk, "and diligently reading
The Jewish News with an eye
to learning about the Jewish
community."
She is a member of the
Brandeis Womens' Commit-
tee, of which her mother-in-
law is president. "I worked on
their book sale," she says. "I
like doing things for
Brandeis. It was the most for-
mative institution in my en-
tire life. I consider it my
spiritual alma mater. I even-
tually want to get more in-
volved in the Jewish com-
munity here."
She also expressed interest
in getting involved in the
black community as well, as
a Jew going into a black
environment.
She says people have asked
her about raising children in
an interracial marriage. "I've
said that the child will have
a mother with great in-
testinal fortitude and I would
expect the child would have
the same. I was taught by my
family to do the best with
what you have and you will
prevail, and to be an indepen-
dent thinker.
"I'm a fortunate person. I
come from a people with a
strong tradition of
perseverance and I have em-
braced a culture which comes
from a similar tradition. How
could our child not come out
being strong?"
ne day I decided I
needed to put my reli-
gious beliefs some-
where," says Karen Clermont,
a member of Temple Emanu-
El who has been a Jew for
more than a year. "I'd been
thinking about converting for
about five or six years before
deciding to do so?'
Clermont's father is a
Catholic, her mother is
Episcopalian, and she was
raised as an Episcopalian. "I
went along with the pro-
gram," she says. "And there
were things I believed and
things I just didn't go along
with. It felt hypocritical. I
wasn't stepping up to what I
believed:' She investigated
Catholicism, then Islam, then
Judaism, looking for a form of
religious expression that mir-
rored her beliefs.
"There was a lot I couldn't
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