BACK TO OOL
SCHOOL PHOBIA
How Can We
Help Our Kids?
I
t began within the first few
days of school. The usually
well-adjusted and vivacious
first grader began complaining
of stomach aches. "They were
especially bad when I drove carpool,"
her mother remembers. "Every mor-
ning my daughter said she couldn't go
to school and each day she would
come home and say she cried all day."
Irene Beck, an elementary school
teacher for over ten years, now
teaching in Walled Lake, vividly
recalls a third grade student who was
absent with a mysterious illness every
Monday. "This went on for three Mon-
days," she says. "The first time he told
his mother he had a sore throat, but
it disappeared mid-afternoon. The
.next week, his headache was gone
soon after the school bus passed his
house. By the third week, his mother
realized there was a problem; brought
him into school after lunch and set up
an appointment with me. We worked
out a plan to help him feel secure and
successful in the classroom."
With the start of the school year,
many children exhibit signs of school
phobia, or school fear, a clinical term
used by the mental health profession
to indicate a form of separation anx-
iety. The symptoms can be imaginary
illness — headaches or stomach aches,
excessive crying, regression bed wet-
ting or disrupted sleep patterns, cling-
ing and the comments that break
every parent's heart, "I hate school.
Please don't make me go back there!"
Dr. Edward Klarman, a Birm-
ingham psychiatrist, explains. "On
the surface, the child says, 'I'm afraid
of school? Very often that translates
into a fear of leaving the safety of the
home, a fear of leaving mother — I
pick on mother because she has tradi-
tionally been the primary caretaker!
"A certain apprehension and anx-
iety at this time is normal. The child
is making giant strides toward in-
dependence. He's unsure what school
is going to be like. He must adapt to
a new environment and new people."
Klarman continues, "A lot
depends on the mother's ability to
deal with her child's apprehensions
and her own sense of loss and anxie-
ty. Sometimes a parent will project
her own anxiety onto the child. In an
56
FRIDAY;- AUG .28, NE
Parents, teachers and psychologists
can help children overcome
their fear of the classroom
ELLYCE FIELD
Special to The Jewish News
"•
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unconscious way, she is resentful of
her child growing up and becoming
more independent. I've seen mothers
so tied up in their anxiety that they
are transmitting the message, 'if you
go to school by yourself, you might get
killed!' "
Other reasons play into a child's
school phobia. One mother interview-
ed was involved in a serious car acci-
dent when her two sons were pre-
schoolers. "Just when they were
realizing we could be away from each
other and come together again at the
end of the day, I went away one mor-
ning and didn't come back for a long
time. When I did come back, I was in
a body cast and my face was swollen.
My older child needed a lot of
reassurance when he started school.
With the help of a psychologist, I was
able to retrain him and let the string
of independence out slowly. He had to
learn to feel secure all over again."
"The classroom atmosphere also
has a lot to do with a child's level of
school phobia;' says psychologist and
teacher Alicia Tisdale. Tisdale has
taught kindergarten for 23 years at
Hillel Day School. She is also
finishing her Ph.D. in psychology at
the University of Michigan, with a
thesis researching the kindergarten
experience and its impact on- a child's
growth and development.
"Kindergarten needs to be child-
centered and play-oriented, not a
watered down version of first grade.
Kindergartens need to provide an am-
biance where the child feels he is ac-
cepted at whatever level he is on."
Third grade teacher Irene Beck
lists the other variables contributing
to school phobia. "Sometimes a child
might have a learning disability, or a
fear of failure. There might be peer-
related problems, such as teasing on
the playground or something upset-
ting on the bus."
"A healthy parent deals positive-
ly with school phobia," says Dr. Klar-
man. "He or she will encourage the
child with words like, "I can see you
are worried about school. A lot of
children feel that way. It's great that
you're growing up and becoming in-
dependent. I know you can do it.'
"If the symptoms persist, if the
child is desperately clinging to mom
in the second week of school, then
parents need to recognize a problem
and seek help," Klarman says. "The
only thing worse than your child leav-
ing is when he doesn't leave! We raise
our children to be competent, in-
dependent adults. Anything that
severely disrupts a child's in-
dependence and autonomy should be
dealt with professionally."
Tisdale also recommends talking
with the teacher as soon as school
phobia is recognized. "A child's ex-
perience is made up of the dynamic
relationship between parent, child
and teacher. It's important for parents
to start communication with their
child's teacher as soon as possible."
Tisdale advises parents to ap-
proach the teacher by stating, 'I need
your help; rather than in an angry ac-
cusatory tone.
Beck agrees. "If parents have any
inkling at all, please notify the
teacher. Most teachers are willing to
work together with the parents and
children to help ease the school
phobia. It's very important that the
child knows everyone is working on
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