Being Single In The '80s
The director of a Toronto singles organization
puts singlehood into perspective.
SID DORFMAN
F
or many people who are
single, it is both "the best
of times and the worst of
times." There are certain
advantages to being
single, such as increased privacy and
the freedom to come and go as you
choose. It can be an exciting time,
with new people to meet and a varie-
ty of things to do. Yet, for many peo-
ple, the negative aspects outweigh the
advantages. For example, some people
experience loneliness while living
alone and others have a hard time
meeting compatible people.
Historically, during the last
generation (the 1950s), "being single"
was regarded as a temporary state, a
transitory stage to pass through bet-
ween the end of high school and the
beginning of what was considered
"real life" (married life). If someone
were single past a certain age, he or
she felt the pressure to marry —
especially for women. Single women
were continually confronted with
such comments as, "Why isn't a nice
girl like you married?"
The 1950's also symbolized a
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more personal era. Many people mar-
ried those people they grew up with,
such as those they met in high school
or university. Personal introductions
were common, through friends and
relatives, so that single people had
assistance in meeting potential
mates.
The contemporary world of the
1980s is in some ways very different
from the 1950s. In the first place, it
is far more acceptable to be single to-
day. There is less of a stigma attach-
ed, especially for women. In addition,
while many singles would like to
meet the right person, they are also
quite concerned about other areas of
their lives, such as careers and
friends.
Not all singles today have the
same expectations about relation-
ships and marriage. While some
single people are actively searching
for a marriage partner, others simple
enjoy being single and do not see mar-
riage as an immediate goal. There are
also a small number of singles who
accept their single position as a per-
manent state. Finally, some people
who have been married and are now
divorced view their singlehood as a
time for growth and change.
There has been a dramatic in-
crease in the number of singles since
the 1950s. This substantial increase
in the number of singles can be ex-
plained in several ways. While many
people are still getting married, the
high divorce rate adds to the total
number of singles. Secondly, men and
women are getting married much
later in life than ever before, often
postponing marriage to establish
their careers.
Also, demographically there is an
imbalance in the ratio of single men
to single women. There are 102
women for every 100 men in the 30
to 34 group. For those in the 35 to 39
age group, there are 128 women for
every 100 men. In the 40 to 44 group,
there are 135 women for every 100
men. Fortunately for women under
30, there are actually more single
men than women.
Finally, many women remain
single longer because they are attain-
ing executive or high-paying positions
that demand more of their time and
energy. These women want to marry
men in a comparable or higher in-
come and career position, and often
find it difficult to meet these men.
Due t o the higher salaries and
financial clout of today's singles, they
can afford more expensive material
goods, such as cars, trips, clothes, and
commodities like real estate. There is
also a growing demand for products
and services that cater specifically to
singles. For example, many singles
join luxurious health clubs, for social
and for athletic reasons. In the travel
industry, trips and destinations for
singles are becoming popular. Some
travel companies even match singles
up with one another, to help them to
save money on single supplements.
Because of the larger number of
singles, many introduction services
have opened their doors, such as video
and computer dating services, which
are creative ways in which modern
technology is being used to introduce
singles to one another.
Yet, although the singles revolu-
tion of the 1980s has offered men and
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THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
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