Marsha Davis recalled her days at Mumford High
School.
The band, Gamut, brought back -that "good ole rock 'n roll."
David Blake told singles how to "Take Control of Your Life."
said that Jews who are interested in
dating out of the faith shouldn't ask
the rabbi, "should I date non-Jews,"
rather they should ask themselves
"what is my Jewish identity?" "If you
have to ask (the rabbi) if you should
date non-Jews, then you have to
decide what your Jewish identity is,"
Roman said. He advised his audience
that in an interfaith dating situation
which may lead to interfaith mar-
riage, the Jewish partner should keep
his/her Jewishness in perspective.
And when it comes to the marriage
ceremony, it should be reflective of the
marriage that's to follow, he advised.
Advice on dating the second time
around — after the break-up of a rela-
tionship or marriage — was given by
Dr. Elliott Wagenheim, medical direc-
tor of the Problems of Daily Living
Clinic at Sinai Hospital. In his
remarks, Dr. Wagenheim told his au-
dience how to reduce barriers between
people. Among his admonitions were:
"caring about what the other cares
about is what caring about is all
about," "let yourself be known by the
other person," "lower your expecta-
tions," join organizations because one
can get to know other people in a
relaxed atmosphere and one can do
something "socially productive that
you like doing" and don't bring "bag-
gage" (old hurts) from a previous
relationship.
On the topic of "sexual etiquette,"
Dr. Wagenheim said that both part-
ners have to be comfortable with the
situation, participation has to be con-
sistent with one's values and each
partner should be able to express
his/her needs.
A major problem Dr. Wagenheim
finds arising out of dating relation-
ships is that one partner tries to
change the other. He strongly advis-
ed against it. "The only person you
can change in a relationship is
yourself."
Keith Levick, a social worker af-
filiated with Jensen Counseling
Centers, finds another problem that
frequentlyMccurs among persons in-
volved in relationships — game play-
ing. Because people are so frightened
of rejection, Levic explained, they will
often resort to all kinds of tactics to
protect themselves. Among these he
cited arrogance, lying, anger, boasting
of sexual conquests and resorting to
self-fulfilling prophecy (what one
thinks actually comes true).
Levick said that one's self-concept
— how one looks at oneself as a total
person — has to be pretty solid or
there will be trouble in trying to form
relationships. "The self-concept is the
basement of our personality. If it's
shaky, the whole house is shaky. Hav-
ing the ability to assert oneself —
standing up for one's rights — and
having confidence are helpful toward
having a positive self-concept, he
suggested.
Did any of the singles find the
symposium helpful? For Fran Weiss
"it was worth coming to." 0