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SINGLE

Strictly Singles

Continued from preceding page

special." Allen Olender almost
didn't go at all, but reluctantly
agreed to accompany a friend.
Olender, a Michigan State
University graduate and presi-
dent of Michigan Bakery Supp-
ly, is third-generation Shaarey
Zedek. Tobin's family • has
belonged to the congregation
for more than 20 years. "I think
I sat behind him once at ser-
vices," rIbbin recalls, "but in all
- that time we never met."
The couple was introduced at
the Strictly Singles evening by
a mutual friend. Although she
"had the best time" she ever
had at a party, "I didn't spend
that much time with Allen, and
we didn't dance. But two weeks
later he called, and two months
later we became engaged!'
Tobin, who is 30 and a
graduate of the University of
Michigan with a B.S. degree in
dental hygiene, is currently a
Southfield realtor associate.
Since her days in Ann Arbor,
Tobin has gone to many singles
events — "some were really
good,. others . . . well . . . but it
was important for me to go
places where I could meet and
marry someone Jewish!'
Rabbi Groner said he feels
strongly that "there is a need
for synagogue-sponsored ac-
tivities and programming for
Jewish singles. They provide a
greater sense of dignity and
care than do other programs.
The synagogue is the address of
the Jewish community, and
most young people who have
identified with it at certain
periods in their lives would like
to find a place within it as a
young, single adult!'
In contrast to the Detroit
Jewish community of 25 years
ago, Rabbi Groner explains that
today more than ever there is
the need for such groups. The
population is scattered
throughout the metropolitan
area as never before. Young peo-
ple are deferring marriage
beyond college, often until
graduate school degrees or
career goals are achieved.
Those who proceed along suc-
cessful career paths often lose
contact with former friends and
need opportunities to meet
other Jewish singles. He adds
that "increasingly young
adults are leading independent
lives in their own apartments,
are no longer closely connected
with the family network, and
feel the need to find a Jewish
connection!'
Linda Zalla, active in the con-
gregation and mother of
21-year-old Lisa, saw just such
a need when her daughter
pointed out that the synagogue
offered no post-college program-
ming. Although Lisa, a senior
at Michigan State University,
anticipates two more years of
school, _ she and her friends
could already project their
future in the Detroit communi-
ty. They "don't like the bar
scene," according to Zalla, and
realized that they would be out
in a larger world, without the

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Friday, May 8, 1987

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

advantages of a college
environment.
Traditionally, she says, ages
21-26 represent "a No Man's
Land within the synagogue or
temple. Young people who have
been very active in youth
groups as teenagers often lose
their link to the synagogue un-
til they become engaged and
return to get married, she ex-
plains. "I felt I had to respond
to Lila and her friends," and
thus Zalla is now the group's of-
ficial liaison to Shaarey Zedek.
A kick-off planning meeting
took place at the Zalla home
last summer. Invitations went
to some 50 young people in
their 20s, whose families were
active in Shaarey Zedek. "We
knew that involved parents
often have involved children,"
Zalla says. These predictions
turned out to be correct, she
recalls. "More than 20 young
singles came to a fact-finding
meeting. These were positive
people, a wonderful cross-
section of the community, and
they wanted to know where
we've been all these years!'
Zalla says that although "the
mother in her" occasionally
wants to offer a bit too much ad-
vice, she will maintain her role
as a liaison only. "Sometimes
I'd like to offer my input, but
that's not my role. I'm not an
adviser nor a chaperone!'
Strictly Singles has a mailing
list of more than 300 young
Detroit-area Jews. What can
those waiting to hear from the
group expect this spring?
There is no shortage of ideas
among the "core" committee.
They are discussing the
possibility of plans for:
• An early Thursday evening
"Happy Hour" organized on a
weekly basis at a local
restaurant-bar establishment.
A "no-muss, no-fuss" activity
where people can just drop in
and find other Jewish singles.
• A "singles night"/Shabbat
service once a month.
• A softball league.
• A political issues discus-
sion group.
• Sunday morning lox and
bagel breakfasts.
• A 1950's style Sock Hop —
"no shoes on the gym. floor!"
• A road rally.
• A reception and social at a
local art gallery.
"Our planning committee
has worked more as a group of
friends than as a board," Bor-
man says, and they encourage
this sort of informal
camaraderie.
In the midst of these possible
plans, rabbi, liaison, and board
members alike hope that Strict-
ly Singles will provide a new
vehicle for greater socializing
among young Jewish singles,
whatever their traditional
backgrounds. They agree that
one singles group need not fear
competition from another. "The
need is definitely there," Bor-
man maintains. "If we can con-
tinue to maintain our momen-
tum, the people will come. 111