Strictly Singles

This Shaarey Zedek group
hopes to form an
inter-synagogue singles network

S

JUDY MARX

. Special to The Jewish News

S

trictly Singles, the newest
group to hit the Jewish singles
scene, has no official directors,
no tightly planned agenda,
and no formal goals nor writ-
ten rules for how it intends to operate.
But its members are not short on en-
thusiasm, resources and flexibility.
With an initial overwhelmingly suc-
cessful event to their credit and a host
of ideas for unusual singles program-
ming, these are people who know
where they're going.
"Sometimes singles groups have
the tendency to plan events that turn
out like high school dances;' explains
Gilbert Borman, a leader and
member of the group's steering com-
mittee. "When we first got together
we knew that our goals were simple:
to offer opportunities that will make
it easier for young Jewish singles to
meet and have a good time together.
We're not aware of any similar groups
that are planning the kinds of pro-
grams we have in mind!'
Although originally Strictly
Singles was aimed at 21-32-year olds,
already the rules have changed, Bor-
man admits. "Now we're up to 39!'
Although the group sprang from
leadership within Cong. Shaarey
Zedek, "we are pretty much free to do
as we want, and we want to maintain
that independence as much as possi-
ble," Borman says. "The congregation
has pledged us administrative
assistance and seed money, but so far
we've been self-supporting!'
The impetus for Strictly • Singles
came from some young Shaarey
Zedek members, who had no trouble
convincing Rabbi Irwin Groner that
with the help of the congregation they
could launch a community-wide
Jewish singles program unlike any
other similar organization.

.

Although its steering committee
is largely comprised of Shaarey Zedek
members, Strictly Singles was set up
from the very beginning as an
inter-synagogue program, and most of
the Detroit-area temples and syna-
gogues have pledged enthusiastic
support.
The group's opening program,
held on a Tuesday in October was an
evening at the Taboo in Detroit, with
entertainment by Norma Jean Bell
and the All Stars. More than 250
Jewish singles showed up, and the
event was pronounced an "over-
whelming success!'
Many, but not all, of the par-
ticipants were young professionals,
and the committee is aware that
future programs must be kept affor- Gilbert Borman welebmes guests ,
dable, if they are to continue to at the group's Taboo party.
generate such overwhelming
Shaarey Zedek, Borman is a member
attendance.
"Everyone - Orthodox, Conser- of the group's ten-person steering
vative and Reform — came. That's no committee and a moving force within
problem. Everyone likes to have a it.
good time," Borman stresses. But he
He says that the core group has
adds that there are some basic elected not to have titles or officers.
understandings within the group in "That way each of us can make the
order to encourage participation from best use of his or her own talents;' he
the widest cross section possible of the points out.
"It really comes down to a ques-
young Jewish singles in the com-
munity. "We won't plan parties for tion of philosophy. What could be bet-
Friday nights. In deference to those ter than something that allows peo-
who keep kosher, we'll have kosher ple who might not otherwise meet .
food. Some people believe that each other to meet and have fun? Too
anything that's kosher is good; others often young people don't feel that
feel that anything that's kosher can't their synagogue has a role to play in
be good. We know we can have food their lives as a single person. All
we're trying to do is address a need,
that is both kosher and good?'
And when it comes to food, Bor- and our rabbi said 'Go get 'em! "
man should know. A resident of Bir-
Despite philosophy, Borman and
mingham, this 28-year-old attorney his fellow committee members had
and director of public relations for some very real concerns before the
Borman Foods, Inc., is a typical Strict- group's first event. "I was afraid 800
ly Singles enthusiast. A native men and three women might show
Detroiter, with a family tradition at up!'

Julie Nelson • and some of her
female friends on the committee were
afraid that the opposite might occur.
And everyone was relieved and
delighted to find that the male/female
Taboo turnout was roughly equal.
Nelson is a 30-year-old Southfield
attorney, who practices law in Wayne
and Oakland Counties and is also .a
marketing manager for Cadillac
Creative Advertising. Like Borman,
she grew up as part of the Shaarey
Zedek family. "For years a lot of us
have been aware of the need for pro-
gramming like this;' she explains.
"Most of our core group — we're not
a traditional board — have profes-
sional jobs?'
Time constraints obviously pre-
sent a problem for Strictly Singles'
eager, but busy, leaders. "We're mov-
ing slowly, but effectively," Nelson
says, when asked why there have been
no follow-up events since fall. Yet she
and Borman are both aware that the
group can't wait too long to capitalize
on its initial success. And too, "I pro-
mised the rabbi one marriage per
year," Nelson quips.
Often people come to singles'
events looking for a potential mate.
"Yet, I'm not here to play Yentl," Bor-
man says. "I feel that most Jews
would prefer to marry another Jew,
but the goal of Strictly Singles is just
to meet and have a good time?'
He does realize that - "we can be
too successful" and lose some of our
most active supporters. Already two
members of the steering committee
are engaged and another couple, who
met at Taboo, are getting married in
October.
Amy Tobin went to the event at
Taboo all set to have .a good time, but
not expecting to meet that "someone

,

.

Continued on next page

93