rCa • Martin Pasternak: tired . of living a contradiction. ne Rabbinate : s a college treshmen,, I was too cool to be Jewish," recalls-Martin J. Pasternak of Detroit, now a fourth year rabbinical student at the Jewish Theological Seminary: "What could be better • at Michigan State than dancing at Dooley's and then a cheese- - burger or pepperoni pizza at Lizards Underground or any of the other treife places in East Lansing? At home I'd daven up S storm; but. at school, who knew from things like 'that?" He hid attended Hillel Day School , through ninth grade and grew up in what he describes as a "mainstream • Conservative home." His father Abe, a Holocaust survivor who is now a tire dealer in Pontiac, had been: yeshivah student. The road back from pepperoni was a convergence of many influences, but Marty 'remembere inparticylar one Passover, when. hey came home from 'College. He found ' himeelf at :B'rtak Moshe, ."davening: ,up a storm as usnal." He broke out of < a; reverie — "maybe I had been falling asleep • dur-: ing the sermon" — and realized that "I . ' hid ._become • something I had denig- is6d. I had ,become even less than a Shabbos 'Jew.2-1,clidn't like that Living a Contradiction hothered me. I have different ideas for my H e wanted deeper personal ' more - than !anted. PePPerenii and grater suste an cefroin his . , • n an he received from casual 'relation. sh ips with non= Jews earn =kk economics and psychology, then a mas- ter's in labor relations and human resource management. His first munici- - pal governinent job fizzled when the con- tract he worked on was settled instead of arbitrated. He waited tables at TGIFri- day's for nine months and pondered career options. 'rending through Europe, he sought° out the Jewish landmarks. Caught up in the atmosphere of a Portu- guese synagogue in Amsterdam -- the candles, the wood, the age of the place — "I almost entered into a transcendent vortex of some kind." " ' The rabbinate began to figure serious ly as a career alternative to labor rela- tions. On a United Synagogue Youth summer pilgrimage to Israel, Marty saw an:advertisement on a bulletin board for an introductory Thlmud course at the Seminary's Israel campus. He stayed on in. Israel and "managed to establish ,a •friendly ,relationship with text rather than an adversarial relationship," he recalls. He returned to Israel last year to complete the year of study there required of all JTS rabbinical candidates. His Seminary, experiencehas con- firmed his decision. He loves the rigorous study. "Being a rabbi should only be half as much fun as rabbinical school," he comments. . eminary career, Pasternak . During his Seminary` has served' as a chaplain at the U.S. Naval '-, Hospital at Portsmouth, working with AIDS.patients and others, and as a stu- dent rabbi at a heltisorti congregation in lusel. He works with eyoungleadership uP and in Amdzaleing the Few* dation for Conservative Judaism in Is- rael. He teaches=Hebrew at the Seminary high school and in a suburban congrega- tional school. He attends both the traditional and egalitarian services at the Seminary, and he's all for. the ordination of women as •cantors, although he knows some of his • contemporaries oppose the movement to- wards egalitarianism in Conservative Jewish life: "Every time I go to minyan I'm going to find something that. I like or dislike. Some of my likes today may become dislikes tomorrow. 'lb hear a soprano is not what I'm used to, yet sit- ting next to my mom and sister was great. If you can hold on to a hand and get support and strength from that hand; if you have your wife or your daughter next to you sharing the siddur,' I think it adds a 'whole lot," he remarks. • Would he marry a woman rabbi? "Sure, why not? I think a bit of tension in a rela- tionship could be exciting." Pasternak wants to be a pulPit rabbi. "Despite everyone who says don't do it, I want to go home to Detroit. My family is there. My gang is still there. These are people who know me as Marty. Why go someplace else and start all over again tabfiljeed? , tw:fr is already befan ali th t. myneki w i hvre , , , Coming home from the Seminary these days is different from his coilege holidays. !When I go home, I'm not the recognized authority,"‘ he admits. "With my father, it's :!Oh yeaht Oh yeah? Let's take out the books and we'll learn a little together.'-! He likes that.