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March 20, 1987 - Image 92

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1987-03-20

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

CHARLES DOOR CO., INC.

BARRY'S
LETS RENT
IT

We Specialize in Door Replacement

• Custom Doors
• Exterior & Interior
Wood Doors
• Steel Replacements
• Bi-folds and Mirrored
• Storm Doors
• Garage Doors

PARTY RENTALS
ALL OCCASIONS

I 855-04801

29212 ORCHARD LAKE RD.
South of 13 Mile

21650 W. 11 Mile, Sfld.

350-DOOR or
535-3160
SALE
All Interior Doors
20% OFF

— Specializing In Grand Entrances —
Since 1942

ARE YOU A YOUNG UPWARDLY
MOBILE PROFESSIONAL?

LO-LA

Come To
and meet
your counterpart

The Finest in
Men's Fashion
Footwear
is at

Try our complimentary interview
strictly confidential.

P.O. Box 254

Claire Arm
Mildred Rosenbaum

MU. MANI/

Lathrop Village, MI 48075

356-0949

SOUTHFIELD
WEST BLOOMFIELD

BIRMINGHAM
FLINT

DOES FOOD CONTROL YOU? DO YOU LIVE TO EAT?

IT'S TIME TO TAKE CONTROL!

HEALTHY OPTIONS, INC. offers
• Individualized Dietary Program
• Individualized Weekly Counseling
• Group Sessions Weekly



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BINGHAM CENTER • 30800 TELEGRAPH • SUITE 2960 • BIRMINGHAM, MI 48010
YOU ALONE CAN DO IT, BUT YOU CAN'T DO IT ALONE!

NATIONAL COUNCIL
OF JEWISH WOMEN
&Ma-tor D driptt 5 a tiOn
30233 SotAtnTIZId
1 OP
souithfleid,

micritgan 460,6

w.TEORTOH,E

..,4t1

S7 7

norb-Monbea

rnOnbt/25

"rct.%

6,24,

In

our

THRIFT SIMPS STILL
RV:

h

TO SUPPORT NCJW SERVICES

12.2( E. Lincoln ;012 mile)
a0yal Oak. t E. ot woociwarcl)

92

Friday, March 20, 1987

or Cail

pern advised "to figure out
what Mr. or Miss Right is
and then develop those skills
yourself. If you have the
skills, then you are going to
attract people like you."
She also had advice for
singles who find loneliness a
part of their lives. In essence,
she said singles who are
lonely are choosing to be
lonely. If they would like to
change that situation, then,
Halpern urged, go out — take
risks — and connect with
people. "Learn how to
enhance your life. Be respon-
sible, take action for your-
self."
But in taking risks she
warned. "You've got to know
how to protect and take care
of yourself. That's a skill."
She called that opportunity
for taking risks "exploring
options," and considered it
one of singles' greatest
strengths. "There is the
strength of the opportunity
that we have to take time
with ourselves to figure out
and get in touch with our
power and our creative poten-
tial." She added that explor-
ing these options is a means
of surviving as a single.
And for singles looking to
be doubles, what does Hal-
pern advise? "It requires the
skill of coping with rejection,
developing your self-esteem
and having a love relation-
ship with (your) self so you
can be free to reach out." ❑

In order to "connect"
with people, communica-
tions specialist Barbara
Halpern advises singles to
start paying attention to
their own needs and
wants.
The next step is to de-
velop connecting skills.
These include: focusing on
the other person by asking
an open ended question
(what, how, where, but
avoid why because it puts
others on the defensive);
find a commonality and
"forget yourself."
Then, learn to make

choices for yourself and
learn to discriminate be-
tween people who enhance
your self-esteem and de-
tract from it. Enhancers
are your cheerleaders,
they support you and your
values, encourage you and
are interested in what you
do without making judge-
ments.
Avoid "drainers, clutters
and toxics," persons who
are concerned only with
their own well-being.
Finally take the steps
necessary to help you ful-
fill your wants and needs.

y

CLOTHING AND FURNITURE NEEDED

Off

it's important to share them."
In addition to communica-
tion skills, Halpern suggested
that it's necessary to have a
support system comprised of
a group of people who
enhance one's life. In her
workshop at the Birmingham
Temple, Halpern described
enhancers as people who
"support you and your value
system, encourage you to
reach your potential and
want to hear what your goals
are without making judg-
ments." Not everyone is an
enhancer, and singles should
be wary when they decide
with whom they want to sur-
round themselves.
For example, Halpern said,
avoid "drainers, clutterers
and toxics." Drainers are
people "who tire you with
their problems." Clutterers
are "non-listeners, unor-
ganized and don't acknowl-
edge your space." Toxics are
the worst; they are mean and
quick to make "attacking
statements." Singles need to
feel good about themselves —
they need to feel like winners
— and drainers, clutterers
and toxics give the opposite
signals, Halpern advised.
Singles give out signals in
their pursuit of Mr. or Miss
Right as well, according to
Halpern, and if they're not
connecting, then they're giv-
ing out the wrong signals. To
remedy this situation, Hal-

World Jewish Computer Dating
Service Foils Intermarriage

tax Inws dfinatims tp

Drop

Continued from preceding page

DOLLARS

MEMO -Th5/7/10 Til e 4e14/

Efoluatiod
Tax -T)ecarctions.

Making Choices

Making Connections

To take control of yourself now, call for your Free Consultation

DEA FARRAH, MSW, ACSW

SINGLE

4

for Pick-Ur

2s7 arrc
2A Rva
\,,./
h oh Kino- Plaza)

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

25s - b000

204450 Vat, Dykc

uctroo-

s

Jerusalem (JTA) — Eliezer
Sheffer, head of the World
Zionist Organization's young
leadership department, says
he has the solution to the prob-
lem of intermarriage — a
worldwide computerized
Jewish dating service.
According to Sheffer, one of
the causes of intermarriage is
that many young Diaspora

Jews have little chance to meet
socially with other Jews, espe-
cially in small communities.
He said he got the idea for a
computerized dating service at
a meeting of young WZO lead-
ers from Europe last month. He
said they complained there
was a dearth of Jewish mar-
riage partners in small towns
in Italy, France and Greece.

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