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Friday, February 13, 1987 THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
PERSONAL
SERVICE,
PLENTIFUL
SAVINGS!
are never deferred. A defer-
ral is a prelude to a
cancellation, even though
the couple in question may
not know it.
Israel's Second Law: It
will cost at least 50 percent
more than you expect,
whatever you expect.
Israel's Third Law: A
successful wedding is one
at which you lose no more
than two friends and three
relatives.
Israel's Fourth Law: A
wedding without steady
and clear direction is a
vacuum that will be filled
immediately by the florist,
the band leader, the caterer,
Aunt Sarah or the rabbi.
There is nothing wrong
with that happening, but it
will happen better if you
decide in advance whose
guidance is most likely to
meet your needs.
Israel's Fifth and Most
Important Law of Weddings:
The things that go wrong
at a wedding are what
make it truly memorable.
The things that go right
evaporate into the past and
become part of every other
wedding that ever happened.
But if the bride trips on
her way down the aisle and
falls flat on her face, if the
groom gets caught in traf-
fic and arrives an hour and
a half late, if the ring gets
lost or the caterer serves
ptomaine, everyone will
remember the wedding
warmly and chuckle about
it for years. The disaster
will have made the wed-
ding, perhaps in several
ways.
It may be a statistical ac-
cident but every one of the
memorable weddings I have
described here is still an in-
tact marriage. Alas, that is
something I cannot say
about all the less eventful
weddings in which I have
participated.
The Talmud recounts that
in the middle of a wedding,
Mar, the son of Ravinah,
picked up an
valuable cup and smashed
it to bits. He certainly
must have gotten every-
one's attention because the
incident caused that wed-
ding to be remembered for
about 2,000 years. The
reverberations from the
breaking of that cup are
heard when the glass is
broken at every Jewish
wedding, the broken glass
that suggests that nothing
is perfect, that every event
and every moment is
flawed, even those we
treasure the most. Broken
shards are among the
givens of our lives. lb
forget that is to burden our
legitimate aspirations with
the pain of unnecessary
disappointment.
It is an illusion to believe
that you can be completely
in control of anything in
this world. So, as you plan
your wedding, try to make
it nice but don't try too
hard. It isn't going to be
perfect in any case. But
even if you could create an
extraordinary event that
would be absolutely perfect,
it would be so without
character that no one
would ever remember it.
Relax, enjoy and look for-
ward with eager anticipa-
tion to the surprise mis-
haps that will make your
wedding quite special and
memorable. As for me, I
am marrying off my first
child this spring. I wonder
what will go wrong. ■
Singles In Israel
There are now in Israel
I approximately 400,000
single men and women in
the age bracket 25 to 35,
according to a report that
appeared in the afternoon
daily Yediot Ahronot. The
newspaper describes this as
a very painful problem
since these are people at an
ideal age to marry and
have a family life.
In that connection, the
newspaper points out that
there is a significant num-
ber of "loners" (no figure is
given). In the age bracket
35 to 40, there exists a
state of affairs even more
critical than the one pre-
viously described. The
newspaper does not exclude
the possibility that these
groups may account for as
much as 30 to 35 percent
of the total adult popula-
tion of the country.
Bridesmaids
Y
our bridesmaids' dresses
add color to your wed-
ding and also make a state-
ment about your personal
style. The dresses you
choose are nearly as impor-
tant as the bridal gown.
Similar silhouettes for
both brides' and maids'
dresses — similar fabrica-
tion — look best. The
maids' dresses will be the
pivotal color for ushers,
flowers and mothers'
dresses.
Try to include all your at-
tendants in the decision
but remember — it's dif-
ficult to make everyone
happy.
And do pay attention to
the price of the brides-
maids' dresses. It is
customary for attendants
to pay for their own
dresses, accessories,
transportation and lodging.