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SINGLE
Singles & Sex
Continued from preceding page
educator, Dr. Lipten said sing-
les are becoming more picky
about their sexual partners. "I
do see that a relationship of
exclusivity is becoming more
the practice. Some local Jewish
singles, who requested
anonymity, echo her senti-
ments.
Lawyer Robin D., 32, said
she is very careful when it
comes to sexual activity, and
she doesn't want to have sex for
sex's sake. "It's very difficult to
look at sex as something apart
from a special relationship. I
want to have some involve-
ment emotionally." Rhonda G.,
a professional woman in 'her
30s, concurred. "Exclusivity,
absolutely," she exclaimed,
and added that she also likes to
give a relationship a few
months to develop before get-
ting sexually involved. Attor-
ney Mark S., 36, say he too is
more cautious. "I'm certainly
more selective, especially with
all the things going around to-
day. A date should not be a
death sentence."
On a national scale, the sex-
ual revolution of the '60s seems
to be declining. William
Novak, in his book, The Great
American Man Shortgage, said
a "counterrevolution" is actu-
ally taking place as singles re-
think their sexual priorities.
"Significant numbers of single
people are beginning to wonder
whether the loosening of con-
4
ventional restraints on sex was
such a good idea after all. To be
sure, there were many people
who didn't participate in the
sexual revolution to begin
with; the new sexual freedom
was far from a universal phe-
nomenon, and the spectators
have always outnumbered the
participants. But those who
are now having second
thoughts about the sexual
revolution include many of the
people who were most affected
by it. And there, too, it comes
down to women now in their
305." At the same time, Novak
says, men, too, are starting to
feel that maybe promiscuity is
not such a great idea after all.
Dr. Lipten said she felt that
sex had a natural place in a
dating relationship. But, she
added, it shouldn't be entered
into without some emotional
involvement. "I think that if
there is a commitment to a
partner or a relationship with
another human- being and we
have two adults, the expres-
sion of that takes the form of
sexual behavior . . . it's a re-
flection of good feelings."
Dr. Lipten urges that singles
use caution, then put sex into
its proper perspective. "I do feel
that the expression of sex -is a
necessary and vital and good
thing to occur between two
people who have commitment
to each other, who do care
about each other." ❑
Questions To Ponder
In The Second Jewish Catalog: Sources and Resources,
edited by Sharon Strassfeld and Michael Strassfeld, the chap-
ter on sex and sexuality offers guidelines for persons who are
sexually active. Following is a list of questions one may ask
before entering into such a relationship:
Love: Is the sexuality of this relationship an expression of
a depth of feeling that exists between us, or is the feeling
generated only by sexual arousal itself? _
Knowing: Have the partner and I really come to know one
another and see one another as full human beings or does this
act remain a basically anonymous sexual encounter?
Honesty: Have I presented myself in an untrue way (by
words, dress or style) in order to win this sexual reward, thus
making it more difficult for true knowing to emerge in this
relationship?
Degradation: Have I had to go someplace-(pick-up scene,
bar?) or do something (pay in cash or favors?) that I consider
personally debasing in order to get this partner, thus keeping
myself far from true sexual fulfillment? Could I not find a
partner in some more wholesome way?
Consent: Do both of us really want this sexual contact, or
has one of us fallen into it unwillingly, making it a contact in
which both are disgraced?
Special Singles Section
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ATHLETIC CLUB
6343 FARMINGTON ROAD • JUST NORTH OF MAPLE IN WEST BLOOMFIELD
Are there any parties this weekend? What are Jewish
singles talking about? Know an outstanding Jewish single?
The Jewish News wants to feature it in the new Single Life
section appearing every Friday. Address listings or story
ideas to Single Life, c/o The Jewish News, 20300 Civic Cen-
ter Dr., Suite 240, Southfield 48076. Items must be typed,
double-spaced and include a contact name and phone
number. Listings must be received at least two weeks prior
to publication.
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