The Great Mandelbrot War hen my father-in- law remarried several years after the death of my mother-in-law, my new stepmother-in-law, Golda, endeared herself to me in many ways. She ad- mired my children, lent her skill as a seamstress to creating and repairing charming outfits for them, served us frequent, delicious dinners and de- lighted us with her piquant stories of her life in Europe, told in an accent replete with amusing malapropisms. "The dentist took extrays of my teeths," she would say with a shy smile. "My teeths were 100 percent, just so-so-." Despite all her virtues and the fact that my father-in-law took a new lease on life with this marriage, my sister-in-law, Diane, otherwise a lov- ing and agreeable person, showed an instant and permanent dislike for the new member of the family. "She's a lot older than she claims," Diane would comment. When Golda would care- fully polish the furniture, Diane would scoff, "She thinks my mother's furni- ture belongs to her." And Diane's im- itation of Golda's accent was delivered with spite rather than with amused affection. It was understandable that Diane should resent the woman who was fil- ling her mother's place. Further, be- fore my stepmother-in-law's advent, Diane had served as the head female in the family, as matriarch to her father and her three brothers. But Golda could not be blamed that her many The way to a family's heart is not necessarily through its stomach RENA GARTER KUNIS Special to The Jewish News virtues earned her a place in the hearts of the rest of the family. Even Diane's children enjoyed visiting their new grandmother, until their mother's muttered criticisms discouraged them. However, a surface peace was maintained in the family until the in- cident of the mandelbrot shattered the calm. Diane took pride in her culinary skills, and preened herself especially with regard to her cookies. They were indeed delicious, and she usually baked a few dozen for every family oc- casion and packed them in special boxes adored with a label bearing her name. Ingenuous Golda, hearing that my husband particularly enjoyed the traditional confection known as man- delbrot, or almond bread, presented him one day with several dozen of these delights which she had baked especially for him. When next we saw Diane, my husband expounded at length on the excellence of Golda's mandelbrot. "They were the best I've ever tasted," he blundered, oblivious of the darkening countenance of his sis- ter. "Some of them had raisins, some jam, and some a nut paste that was just out of this world." After listening to several reitera- tions of these paeans, Diane could bear it no longer. "You think that's mandel- brot!" she exclaimed with fine scorn. "Just wait a minute!" She disappeared into her kitchen, and emerged bearing several samples of her own version of the treat in ques- tion. "Taste these!" she demanded. My husband may lack tact, but he isn't stupid. He bit into one of Diane's offerings, and strove manfully to find words to soothe his sister's ruffled feathers. Unfortunately for the situa- tion, he is also painfully honest. These are good too," he managed. "Too?" Diane exploded. "Too? Mine are made with pure butter, from Mother's recipes. Golda's . . . ," she bit into one of the offending samples, ". . . anyone can tell in a minute that Golda's have oil in them. What do you think?" she demanded, turning to me. I am not fond of mandelbrot to start with, a flaw in my character, no doubt. But having in past encounters nibbled specimens of both Golda's and Diane's work, I knew that oil or no oil Golda's mandelbrot tasted better, had a crunchier and more satisfying tex- ture and looked prettier in the bar- gain. To make matters worse, at that critical juncture Golda arrived, all smiles, with a skirt she had made for Diane in hopes of winning her affec- tion, no doubt. "I'm on a diet," I said hastily. Then I remembered that I had just put away a large portion of ice cream in full sight of my sister-in-law. "I've already ex- ceeded my sweets allowance for to- day," I finished lamely. The next few weeks played havoc with my figure. I was called upon to appreciate 57 varieties of mandelbrot: mandelbrot with apricots, with cocoa, with butterscotch bits, with lemon Continued on next page 49