SINGLE Interfaith Dating Continued from Page 88 Romance her imagination You are cordially invited to the wedding event of the year on February 13 — The Jewish News' elegant and informative Bri- dal issue. Our brides-to-be and their families will welcome with open arms your advertising presence — for exquisite fashions, roman- tic honeymoon destinations, catering services, floral ar- rangements, entertainment, invitations, photography and so much more. And you'll be in great company. This colorful, easy-to-keep and hard-to-put-down issue will be the largest and most successful in the metropolitan Detroit area. It will be referred to again and again as bride and groom get closer to that special day. So RSVP by January 26 through your Jewish News account executive or call 354-6060. It's an affair you won't want to miss! ISSUE DATE: FEBRUARY 13 AD DEADLINE: JANUARY 26 92 Friday, January 16, 1987 THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS again. Or you call a friend, and if they aren't going you decide not to go. You can't give up and not try. It's better than sitting home doing nothing and com- plaining to friends. "A lot of singles dwell on their unhappiness because they are disappointed. It be- comes a vicious cycle. Be op- timistic and don't get your hopes up too high." Bernie B. said he has seen some men at singles activities "act like real creeps to the women. These women aren't going to tend to come back," he said. "Especially for shyer women, this could really be a problem." Doreen S. said she rarely dated Jewish men because she found them too boring and only interested in making a lot of money. She and her husband, a Catholic, postponed making a decision on the upbringing of their children until the eldest was old enough to begin He- brew school. Her husband, Jerry, said they felt pressure from both sets of parents to es- tablish a religion for the chil- dren. Each Passover, he and an Episcopalian friend who is also married to a Jew, conduct a Seder in English for the two families. Jerry said that win- ning over the parents was cru- cial to the success of an inter- faith relationship. While there is criticism that there are too few events for singles in this area, such as weekend ski trips and similar outings, the people who plan these events are often frus- trated because they say the singles procrastinate about de- ciding to attend. With events such as these there is a lot of advance planning and finan- cial outlay involved, and plan- ners can't wait until the last minute to see if the singles found dates for that weekend or if they decided to go on the outing. "The Jewish community has not done enough to provide meaningful and appropriate opportunities, meeting places and programs for Jewish people of marriageable age to meet in an atmosphere of warmth, respect and dignity," said Rabbi Groner. "We have provided for many areas of our communal need with respect to education and care of the el- derly. But I hear from parents and unmarrieds alike that we haven't done enough for un- marrieds. These unmet needs are of such enormous conse- quence to the future of the Jewish community." Rabbi Groner suggested that the organized Jewish commu- nity establish a special com- mittee to take inventory of all the singles programs in met- ropolitan Detroit, take an in- quiry about the efficacy of them and make recom- mendations for improving ways to meet the needs of single Jews. He said the com- mittee should be comprised of rabbis, singles, representa- tives from the Jewish Center and others who have worked in this area of concern. "The committee should come together with new ideas, new resources and perhaps a new department," he said. "What- ever we have is not enough." Anti-Semitism was cited as another problem associated with interfaith dating. Singles said that vulnerability to anti-Semitism arises when you allow yourself to become closer to non-Jews in a social setting, and that eventually some anti-Semitic statement comes up. Rabbi Shaiall Zachariash of Cong. Shomrey Emunah said that interfaith dating is the glaring result of the lack of transmission of positive Jewish values and education by parents. "Parents must teach younger and older chil- dren to appreciate their heri- tage and what it requires of them," he said. "It's only a per- son who appreciates and understands Judaism with a knowledge of it, who will feel strongly against dating non- Jews. "There are only two reasons to date," he continued. "One, the excitement of going on a date, and two, the possibility of dating leading to matrimony. If a person understands that intermarriage is forbidden then s/he wouldn't go on a date with the idea it might possibly lead to matrimony. It wouldn't work. Then if the person con- siders going just for the ex- citement of the date, and understands that the excite- ment can create problems for them down the line, they would also avoid going on dates out of the faith. "In the Orthodox community we demand a greater commit- ment, so these kinds of prob- lems are reduced. But it is af- fecting more homes of promi- nent families, so people are concerned," he said. "People are going to have guilt feelings about interfaith dating," he said. "Their rea- sons for it are just rationaliza- tions. Parents should not only give their children a religious education, but show them that they are proud and happy about it. If transmitted with love and commitment, the teachings are more lasting and meaningful." ❑ Singles Plan Games Night B'nai B'rith Michigan Sing- les will have a games night at 7:30 p.m. Sunday at the B'nai B'rith Building, 25835 South- field, Southfield. There is an admission fee, and participants must bring a nominally-priced gift. Re- freshments will be served. Everyone is welcome. For information, call Edith Ellis, 559-7547; or Betty Brach, 476-6297.