PLAIN & SIMPLE SINGLE THE AL HARRISON Luggage Outlet ONE OF THE LARGEST SELECTIONS OF: Luggage • Business Cases • Handbags • Small Leather Goods Travel Accessories • Unique Gifts Interfaith Dating I EVERYTHING - EVERYDAY 20-50% OFF 3116 W. 12 MILE (Between Greenfield & Coolidge) 545-7393 1 Advertising in The Jewish News Gets Results Place Your Ad Today. Call 354-6060 JEWISH SINGLES • Meet Congenial People • Make New Social Contacts • Free Interview Call or write LO-LA Your Dating Program P.O. Box 254 Claire Arm Mildred Rosenbaum Lam Village, MI 48075 356-0949 \ s, §::::,"- 6\ • 01 0 9 ti -A- N t 01 '4 1140 Potit' i/ ...but the fun is just beginning. Start now on a healthy new year with this terrific offer. 66% OFF INITIATION FEE (Offer Expires Jan. 18th, 1987) ONE,NONE ATHLETIC CLUB O 626-9880 6343 FARMINGTON ROAD • JUST NORTH OF MAPLE IN WEST BLOOMFIELD 88 Friday, January 16, 1987 Continued from preceding page THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS uniqueness in this country," she said. "It is the dating process which generally leads to mar- riage," said Rabbi Groner. "Jews who care about main- taining their heritage, identity and the future of the Jewish people should care about mar- rying other Jews." He pointed out that the issue of interfaith dating is confronted differently by adolescents and younger singles living at home than by young Jewish adults living on their own. He said that with regard to the younger Jews, parents should establish standards in opposition to interfaith dating, and that hopefully the older singles would have been instil- led with a sufficient commit- ment to and understanding of their Jewishness to decide not to date outside the faith. "Parents and young people need reinforcement," he said. "The cry that is heard in many quarters is that everyone else is doing it. It is often difficult for parents to establish limits. But unless they do, interfaith marriages will soar in this country in the years ahead." Rabbi Groner said that once a person is engaged in inter- faith dating s/he becomes vul- nerable to a strong and endur- ing relationship which, in most cases, will overcome a reluc- tance to marry outside the faith. "In earlier times, our ances- tors faced the issue of physical survival," he said. "In our time, the subject is spiritual survi- val. If our ancestors could physically survive, I am cer- tain we can survive spiritually. The most eloquent statements we make are our actions. It is one thing to make statements, and one thing to act out our lifestyles according to our Jewish beliefs." Margy G. recently became engaged to a non-Jew, one with whom she originally had no in- tentions of getting involved, basically because of religious differences. She said, however, that her commitment to her religion and Jewish identity have been strengthened by this relationship. "I was very complacent," she said. "Now I have found that my Jewishness is strengthened and I have more commitment to it, because I've had to think more about it and what it means to me. As I grow I think more of what religion means to me than I used to. "My children will be Jewish because I am. That's not to say they wouldn't have been Jewish if I'd found a Jewish partner, but at least I can con- tribute to replacing myself. Some people view interfaith dating/marriage as almost as bad as the Holocaust as far as reducing future generations of Jews. I'm sure that's very frightening to many Jews. I don't feel that way. I don't think it's realistic that in America this would happen even though from my view- point I think interfaith dating is very much on the increase." Margy added that there is no question that the Jews are a separate people in many ways and have a separate identity, whereas Catholics and Protes- tants share similar beliefs and the same holidays. She also said the family situation is very hard because parents and other relatives of interfaith couples don't understand exactly how the couple feels on the complex issues involved. "If we are going to be suc- cessful in avoiding interfaith dating, and I'm not saying it should be avoided, there should be more things for sing- les like the Jewish Community Center and The Jewish News singles section are providing. While I was dating there wasn't anything that I really felt the community was provid- ing for me." Guilt over involvement in interfaith relationships is a key issue for couples attending the intermarriage workshop offered each year by the Bir- mingham Temple, and di- rected by social workers Judy Schneider and Chuck Kramer. "Unresolved guilt is a tremen- dous dynamic," said Kramer. "Many of the individuals feel that they have really disap- pointed their parents. One thing we really help them with is to let them know they really have nothing to feel guilty ab- out. These are similar feelings shared by people marrying above or below their social class." Kramer said that research since he and Schneider began conducting the workshops four years ago indicate that inter- faith marriages involving Jews are now approaching one in two. He said that the Bir- mingham Temple is more open to the idea of interfaith dating because a great number of temple members are products of interfaith marriages. "We understand it's a fact of life," he said. "The reason we offer the intermarriage workshop is that no one else in the area is doing it. It is open to anyone in an interfaith relationship, in- cluding marrieds and parents. The workshop is advertised in The Jewish News and met- ropolitan Detroit papers to at- tract people from outside the temple. "We start by establishing the issues participants identify as problems — their feelings and fears: How are we going to raise the children? How are we going to handle this with our parents, and to a lesser extent, with our friends? How are we going to handle the two reli- gions? We go through a step by step process. "An interfaith marriage, like any other, has conflicts," he said. "The bottom line is the depth of commitment and the level on which the parties communicate. (For informa- tion on the next workshop, con- tact Kramer or Schneider through the Birmingham Temple.) Many singles felt the Jewish community is doing too little to help them meet other Jewish singles, but praised the efforts of the Jewish Community Cen- ter's Community Network for Jewish Singles, the People Connector ad column in The Jewish News and the singles section. "The dances at the Center are good, but they are few and far between," said A.C. "Then there are other activities which bring together a smaller number of people. There's no in-between. House parties are the best activity because you really get to meet people. But you can't live your whole life attending singles events. You need a better blend of activi- ties. You also can't be discour- aged because you attend one event, dislike it and not try it Continued on Page 92