Interfaith Dating

Dating out of the faith remains a
controversial subject among
Detroit's Jewish singles

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Neil Beckman

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Friday, January 16, 1987

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

KAREN A. KATZ

Special to The Jewish News

everal years back some
Hollywood executives
dreamed up a sitcom
about a nice Jewish boy in
love with a nice Irish girl.
To many Jews Bridget Loves Bernie
was less than funny. Bridget and Be-
rnie fell in love and married. For all we
know they are living happily ever af-
ter. But anyday now it wouldn't be too
farfetched to see a sequel to the show
in which Bridget doesn't love Bernie
anymore, and in fact has moved back
home with the kids, who now attend
parochial school.
Now if Bernie had never asked
Bridget for a date in the first place,
none of this would ever have hap-
pened. For as Rabbi Irwin Groner of
Cong. Shaarey Zedek points out, "We
don't marry everyone we date, but we
never marry someone we haven't
dated:"
The subject of interfaith dating is
a real "hot potato" for Detroit area
singles. One-third of singles contacted
regarding this story declined to be
interviewed, one-third never re-
sponded to requests for interviews and
the remaining third requested some
form of anonymity before they would
agree to speak on the subject.
Likewise, several clergymen did not
return calls requesting comments on
the problems associated with inter-
faith dating.
Why do Jews date non-Jews?
Many Jewish men accuse Jewish
women of being too materialistic.
Many Jewish women, on the other
hand, accuse Jewish men of being too
boring and only interested in being fi-
nancially successful. Some single Jews
live in non-Jewish neighborhoods or
don't have occasion to meet Jews in the
workplace. Others say the Jewish
community hasn't done enough to
meet the needs of its singles.
"You meet all types of people,"
said Bernie B. "It's really limiting to
decide you're only going to date Jews.
Unless someone is wearing a Star of
David or a mezzuzah you can't tell if
they are Jewish. You can't tell any-
more by a name or a face whether a
person is Jewish or not," he said. Som e
people look Jewish and aren't, some
don't look Jewish and are.
"In dating, however, the subject of
religion comes up rather quickly.
Especially if you are invited to a
Christmas party and can't decide if
you'd rather not go — or if ham sand-
wiches are served at a party and you
decline," he said.
Bernie has very minimal contact