_ _ 2 5°/0 With FREE LANCE ARTIST • all medios • LYNN 477-2069 young, about 21 years of age for females, and 24 for males, there is not an abundance of older singles with whom they can interact. Unlike non-Orthodox Jews, they limit themselves to dating people with a similar degree of religious observance. Most Or- thodox singles look for other Jews who are Shomer Shabbat (keeping all the laws of the Sabbath) and who kept kosher. Religious compromises are not acceptable to most Orthodox single adults. Says Bob K., a 25 year old, "I prefer an Orthodox girl. I do date, and have dated, non- Orthodox girls, and I'll find out after the first date whether this is worth a second date be- cause she's not religious and I am. Is this going to lead any- where? Usually the girl under- stands the same thing, and things will break off after that with just a friendship and nothing more involved than that. So, I suppose if things are going to work out, it would have to be with an Orthodox girl. "That doesn't rule out the possibility of my dating a non-Orthodox girl. There's al- ways the possibility that if I went out with a non-Orthodox girl she might be willing to change and become more ob- servant. I couldn't become less observant myself. We have come too far to make com- promises now. "I think I see some girls out there who aren't sure about • their religion in the first place and they're kind of curious. Being that they are curious, it doesn't totally turn them off. It's a case of, 'Well, maybe there's something to this,' and they'll actually look into the situation. Some of them will find it's too much for them, but others will 'go for it.' That's what I can hope for, at least with the limited variety of Or- thodox people we have here to go out with." Another single, Susie Broder, who's in her late 20s, agrees with Bob, and adds, "For me, it's a priority that the other person is Orthodox. At least he must have a strong Jewish identity and see that keeping kosher is important. He must be willing to grow and learn. I look for someone who's receptive to having spiritual background. It's hard for me to relate to anyone who lacks this. Sometimes I find people are intimidated by the fact I'm Orthodox." Broder is a member of the growing Baal Teshuvah movement which encourages a complete commitment to Judaism from previously non- religious Jews. Where do people like Broder meet similarly-minded singles in Detroit? Particularly when the singles scene is not part of the lifestyle? "You meet them either through shidduchs or by chance," comments Broder. "These are by introduction, or perhaps by meeting someone at a wedding or an occasion like that. In Detroit, it's easier for younger singles to meet others, than for older ones. I meet new people at Jewish functions — like dinners, the Book Fair, the Jewish Com- munity Center — or when I'm invited to spend Shabbat at someone's home." According to Dave Kruger, a 45-year-old divorced father of three, "From my observation, I think people meet each other because they've known each other — the Orthodox commu- nity here is small. There's really no plan or structure of Orthodox singles in this com- munity. I'm in a little bit of a different position than many of the singles. They are primarily the younger ones, in their mid-late 20s. Even in that age _ group a lot of them go out of town to New York. There's a much larger Jewish commu- nity there and so there's more of a variety." There is a definite tendency of Detroit's Orthodox singles to travel to New York, Chicago, Toronto and other large cities to date, or to find a shidduch. For many it is a temporary move, and they will return. Others start a new life in their adopted home and do not come back. Even some of the matchmaking rabbis of the community encourage - the inter-city dating, the philos- ophy apparently being that it is better to lose a member of the community to another city, rather than have him marry someone whose background is not the same. "We certainly do lose some of our singles to New York, Los Angeles, Toronto. It is unfor- tunate. We do try to help on an individual basis, but we do lose a lot of people to other com- munities," confirms Jacobovitz. He does try to help Detroit's singles by inviting groups of them to spend Shab- bat in his home. Orthodox the Are synagogues doing enough to promote situations in which singles can comfortably meet? Kruger feels there is nothing much being done by the Or- thodox community as far as any formal structured groups, and very little even in the non-Orthodox community. "The synagogues are only just beginning to recognize the need for a structured singles program. In fact there are now about three synagogues and temples with such groups and the Jewish Community Center has a very strong singles pro- gram. A group, called `Chav- ura' has recently begun for Jewish singles, and although Rabbi Elimelech Goldberg of Young Israel of Southfield speaks to the group on topics of Jewish interest, it is not geared to any particular Jewish phi- losophy, Orthodox or non- Orthodox." Fer the Orthodox singles in the community who do date, their religious practices put Continued on Page 78 • original art • logos • • custom design • flyers • • posters • murals • • fashion illustrations • • etc. • porrfolio avoilobte This Ad ffs4/4/444#4 • PARTY PLANNING • • WEDDINGS BAR/BAT MITZVAHS • CANDY PLACECARDS & FAVORS • SHOWERS/SWEET 16s • NAPKINS & ACCESSORIES • CALLIGRAPHY SPECIALIZING IN ADDRESSED • PROFESSIONAL & COMMERCIAL DEPT. 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