TORAH PORTION

BUY? FINANCE? LEASE?

How Brothers Can
Dwell Together In Unity

STARK
HICKEY
FORD

RABBI M. ROBERT SYME

Special to The Jewish News

In

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TERRY DEUTCH

STARK HICKEY'S FINANCE MANAGER

1987 FORD TEMPO GL 4 DR.

Annnual
Percentage
Rate
Financing
for 24 months.

• Dadra* Digital Clod
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• Ittrktig Dociata
• Strom! To Mete from Or Ord* a1 Same Priclogl

NEW ESCORT PONY

Front Whl. Drive/Indep. susp.

•:
Stier; Dem
• Nor SINetz
• tied; Alt AM IN*
• *Weal Mete

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'7730"* s161 35• .. '1394"

1987 ESCORT GL 2 DR

No.

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• Several To West from or Oder at Semi Price!
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pwr. disc brakes
• Rack 8, pinion steering/eisc.
Ignition

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• Fr* Rear Beeper Fords
• Digital Clock
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BUY FINANCE

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'6943 $13672 "• $123"*"*.

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'5771 22 *

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.

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priv.
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Rack
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Cover

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'11,599

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'273'6 * * mo. '206 32 * * * Mo

STARK (CAR
HICKEY
FORD
CITY)

Grand River at 7 Mile, Redford

56

Friday, December 5, 1986

.

5

•Dual Electra* Mirrors

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• Several To Choose From OR Order it Same Milne

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$ 15576•* Aw.

'149"*:4

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538-66

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

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owls

ost of us are famil-
iar with the open-
ing verse of Psalm
133: "Behold how good and
how pleasant it is when
brothers dwell together in
unity." We say it. We sing it.
We proclaim it as the ideal
for which all humankind
should strive. Yet, if we take
a moment to analyze it, we
would discover that it can
have an entirely different in-
terpretation.
Try to read it as a prayer,
rather than as a statement of
fact. It would then go some-
thing like this: "Behold, how
good and how pleasant it
would be, if brothers dwelt
together in unity." In other
words, it could be interpreted
as a challenge, because
brotherhood, alas, is far from
being a reality. Instead of
brotherly empathy, we all too
often witness brotherly an-
tipathy.
The Torah portrays this
truth in stark strident hues.
Cain murders his brother
Abel, because of jealousy.
Joseph and his brothers are
separated because of envy
and hatred. And in this
week's sidrah, Jacob and his
brother Esau are alienated
from one another because of
parental folly. As we briefly
analyze the story, we will
come to understand what
happens when parents play
favorites.
Jacob and Esau were twins.
From early childhood it was
obvious that they were differ-
ent. Esau was the outdoor
type, the hunter. Jacob was
the more quiet, studious type.
Both boys might have grown
up as good friends, each one
developing his own talents,
each one complementing the
other. Instead, the Torah tells
us in this jarring discord
which mars the domestic
harmony: "Isaac loved Esau,
and Rebecca loved Jacob."
Several years ago, I of-
ficiated at a funeral for a
very successful businessman.
His wife had died many years
ago, leaving him with the
task of raising the two sons.
When I met with the family,
I soon realized that the two
brothers were diametrically
opposite. The older son was
quiet, sensitive, still unmar-
ried at age 33 and obviously
insecure. The younger son, 29
years of age, married and the
father of three children, did
most of the talking. He spoke
with pride of' the family busi-
ness. He told me how his
father had trained him to
take over the business, and
how he personally, had ex-
panded it to twice its former
size. When the older brother
stepped out of the room for a

M. Robert Syme is a rabbi at
Temple Israel.

few moments, the younger
brother confided that he had
"created a job" for his older
brother, who really had no
business expertise but, after
all, "he had to be supported."
Subsequently, one of the
aunts informed me, that the
older brother had shown
great promise as a violinist
in his early years, but the
father had discontinued the
lessons and literally pushed
the boy into the family busi-
ness — for which he had no
appetite and no aptitude.
What a sad story! And yet,
how often is it repeated! How
many times have I stood at
the grave of a parent, and
heard a grown son or daugh-
ter weepingly say: "Dad, you
never accepted me," or
"Mother, you never under-
stood me." Isn't this precisely

Shabbat Toledot:
Genesis
25:19-28:9;
Malachi 1:1-2:7

the theme of Potok's marvel-
ous novel My Name Is Asher
Lev? Here was a sensitive ar-
tistic son, who was stead-
fastly rejected by his father,
and secretly encouraged by
his mother.
The Talmud speaks of
tza'ar gidul banim, the sor-
row, the worry of raising
children. When they are
young, they sit on our laps;
when they grow up, they
weigh on our heart. Raising
children is a difficult task. I
used to be an expert in this
field, until I became a father,
and realized that there are no
magical formulas. No two
children are alike. All chil-
dren are created unequal! One
child may be artistically in-
clined; another may be intel-
lectually brilliant; still an-
other may be mechanically
gifted. Our task as parents is
to learn to understand, and to
appreciate those individual
differences.
Then, instead of "Isaac
loved Esau and Rebecca loved
Jacob," we will read stories
that tell us: Isaac and Re-
becca loved Jacob and Esau.
They understood that both
sons had different tempera-
ments, and they encouraged
them to develop their own ta-
lents.
These are the stories that
should be written. These are
the stories that will have a
happy ending. And then, we
will truly be able to say:
"How good and how pleasant
it is, when brothers and sis-
ters dwell together in unity
and love."

Food Drive

The fifth annual Birming-
ham Theatre Holiday Food
Drive to aid the Capuchin
Mission Soup Kitchen will be
held Monday at the Birming-
ham Theatre.

