SINGLE ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE FINDING TIME TO GET THINGS DONE?? Love Me, Love My Kids Time is Money, Inc. Continued from preceding page Offers Services to Simplify Your Busy Life • Gift and Grocery Shopping • Scheduling and Waiting for Repairmen • Party Planning and Much Much More JUDITH SKLAR 661-5005 NNNN NNN NN-N , , Excellent Cuisine , In A Beautiful, Gracious & Elegant ,..\ Atmosphere \,,, Now Appearing , Kevin DeCosta Trio Tues.-Sat. For Dancing and Listening Entertainment .6 . , &yeah • ur / / / ottcv At' , ///////, // , Advertising in The Jewish News Gets Results Place Your Ad Today. Call 354-6060 Ar ■ : :NY /IMAM I 11114 MINI ■ 1111111 ■ DON'T BURN YOUR VACATION AWAY ! Tanfastrr SUN TANNING CENTERS IF YOU'RE HEADED SOUTH ON YOUR VACATION, WHY WASTE YOUR TIME HIDING FROM THE SUN? TANFASTER BASE TANS ALLOW YOU TO TAN QUICKLY AND EASILY IN THE HOTTEST SUN? FARMINGTON, Grand River and Drake WESTLAND, Wayne Rd, north of Westland ORCHARD LAKE RD., just south of 13 Mile SOUTHFIELD, Evergreen and 12 Mile PLYMOUTH, Riverbank Square on Ann Arbor Rd. 100 474-1128 425-5650 855-5240 443-0140 459-5510 Friday, December 5, 1986 THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS The fact that he does have two grown children has posed minor problems for some that he has dated. "Sometimes it's difficult. I do a lot of active things and I do meet a lot of younger women and when they hear that my kids are 18 and 21, its hard for them to accept it." "From the standpoint of being a single parent, I've fo- cused on my kids. I feel that as a single parent, I'm learn- ing about myself and it's been important for me to focus on my life and my emo- tional health. My children will be able to be healthier in their development because I'm taking care of myself. Plus, I'm a role model rather than my trying to whip them into being what I want them to be." Judith Katz, 34, of Royal Oak has been widowed for 5 1/2 years. She has been raising her six-year-old son, Kenny. She is currently involved in a serious relationship with her boyfriend, Ron, who is di- vorced and is the custodial parent of his six-year-old son, Joey. The four of them are rapidly learning to make ad- justments. "Basically, the problem that exists between the two boys is jealousy. Kenny has been with me alone for nearly six years and all of a sudden, he is thrown into a situation where there is not only another man involved, but another child as well. This man is not his father, so there's some resentment in terms of discipline. At the same time, I think that he's benefitting from the relation- ship because he needs a male role model. "As far as the other little boy is concerned, he's very possessive of his father and Kenny is very possessive of me, so you get a situation where we're all together and these kids want our time ex- clusively. "Most of the time, if we're going out for the evening, we get the kids together and share a sitter. The kids are together a lot. At times they resent it and other times they are best friends." Then there's the matter of Ron's ex-wife. "I really don't have to deal with her that much. She only takes her son on certain weekends and that's it. She harbors a lot of resentment towards me, al- though I think she ap- preciates what I do for her child in her absence. How- ever, there probably is some jealousy involved. I'm more accessible to her son because I live very close to Ron and I see them quite frequently. "I don't think that that is our major problem at this point. The biggest problem is that the kids take a lot of our time and it's hard to find time to be alone together." Lea Trager, 40, of 'South- field has been divorced for 2 years. She is the custodial parent of her 13-year-old daughter Stacey, and non- custodial parent of her 10- year-old son, Jason. "It's really difficult to be a non-custodial parent. I really do feel with the parent that doesn't have their kids. And I know the part of being the custodial parent. So I have experienced this from both viewpoints." Trager's kids are together every weekend, be it one weekend with their father, who lives 60 miles away, or with her. "When the kids are with me, very rarely do I go out. But on the weekends I don't have the kids, I run around. During the week, I try to limit myself to two nights out because my daughter needs me at home. "One of the things that I don't do, is that I don't in- volve the children at all with my dating. At the very be- ginning, I always meet the guy away from the house. The only time the kids meet someone is after we've estab- lished a pretty good relation- ship. I just think it's better not to involve the kids unless I really care about the indi- vidual. Why get them in- volved and meeting different men when in most situations, it never works out and you don't want to hurt them anymore than they've already been. They have gone through so much in their lives." What about spending the night? "That's only when my kids aren't home. I have a teenager living with me and she's well aware of what's going on. Something interest- ing that I wonder about is, in a couple of years when she starts dating and I'm dating, what kind of problems will arise. Who knows what that's going to be like." Taking all this into consid- eration, Trager said she feels that it wouldn't be difficult to enter into a relationship at this time. "I'd manage, if I'd meet the right guy." Larry Rosenberg, 33, of Southfield is a non-custodial father who participates equally in the joint custody of his five-year-old son, Benja- min. He has a long-standing relationship with Karen Basch, 27, who has never been married. At first, Basch had a hard time. "Getting used to spend- ing time with a third person instead of a one-on-one rela- tionship was an adjustment for me. When you go out with someone who is single and who doesn't have a family, you can pretty much go and do anything. When you have a child involved, you have to make plans for what you're going to do with the child, if the child is going to come along, or if you're going to get a sitter for him to stay home, You just can't get up and go." But she adds, "the adjustment was part of the relationship." It wasn't until the relation- ship began to solidify that Rosenberg decided to involve his son. "It wasn't necessary for Benjamin to see me going out with a lot of different women. At the point where it was somebody who I felt was going to be significant, then he needed to be brought into the picture too, and when that decision had been made, then you start working on all the other factors that go into the relationship." Benjamin's reaction to Karen was among the first problems they encountered. Rosenberg explains, "There .was a concern for my time. After all, he hadn't had any competition so a third party stepping in became a compet- ing person for my attention. We both have had to reassure him that wasn't the case. He has been receptive but it took a lot of time and (it was) not an easy process." Basch continues, "It took a long time. It's just about now that he's starting to under- stand that when we do things, we do them together and Larry doesn't love him any less because there's an- other person involved and that if Benjamin needs him, he's still there for him." Rosenberg is appreciative of Basch. "I think for some- one to step into a situation like Karen has stepped into, and I've told her this, its real important to know that it's not easy at all. It takes a special person to take on the responsibilities that are in- volved." ❑ Astrology Topic For Singles 2 Singles 2 (age 40-55) will present a program, "Astrol- ogy for Everyone" or "It's Never Too Late to Find Your Mate" at 8 p.m. Thursday at the main Jewish Community Center. Margeret Berry will be the guest speaker. A question and answer period and re- freshments will follow. There is an admission charge. For information, call Babs Sepe or Jill Cole, 661-1000, ext. 347. Dinner Club Goes Szechuan The Community Network for Jewish Singles announces its dinner club will go to Szechuan Garden, 2855 Maple, Troy, at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 15. Cost of. the dinner includes beverage, tax and tip. For reservation information, call Jill Cole, 661-1000, ext. 347.