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November 14, 1986 - Image 98

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1986-11-14

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

IN. SALE SALE SALE °wen

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IN WEST BLOOMFIELD

Friday, November 14, 1986 THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

NSA

SINGLE

=

Continued from preceding page

together in one room the
divergent crowds of Ameri-
cans such as the Hadassah
crowd, the tour guide crowd,
the Scrabble crowd, the musi-
cian crowd. Often, people
bring Israeli or European im-
migrant friends with them, a
healthy addition to the mix.
Parties allow singles to
meet each other outside the
lab or company. Almost all
parties in Jerusalem are held
on Saturday since over time,
everyone has made religious
friends who would feel
snubbed about a Friday night
dance-til-dawn extravaganza
they could not attend. How-
ever, since most Israelis work
on Sunday, most parties end
early.
It's at parties that you
weed out the hopeless situa-
tions. Sadly, in Jerusalem you
must be very specific about
choices. You meet a lovely
woman and discover she's
religious (and you're not). It's
all over on the spot. No mat-
ter how tolerant she is of
secular things, the com-
promises everyone would
have to make in a marriage
would be impossible. Many
people believe religious
Americans wear knitted Kip-
pahs as a warning sign for
secular women.
In conversation, you must
declare your politics. This is
a serious matter; for example,
I, as a supporter of Herut,
could not live with a
Labourite woman. lb Israelis,
politics are more than just
voting every four years. It is
how you view life, the films
- you like to see, the friends you
keep, the music you prefer.
Couples with diametrically
opposed political perspectives
reportedly don't exist.
An Israeli woman will bend
to her husband's views far
more than an educated
American single woman. And
American men claim to be
more tolerant of their
spouses' opinions. But "left"
does not marry "right" in
Jerusalem. There are no
statistics to prove it but I am
convinced that the vast ma-
jority of American male
immigrants are right wing
while an equally vast number
of female immigrants are
liberal. This causes an enor-
mous social problem.
Then the issue of being
financially ready comes into
play. Paul goes to the parties
but never meets anyone.
"What's the point?" he ex-
plains. "I haven't got the
money to take someone out
properly and I can't afford to
get married."
American males feel that
some financial solvency is a
natural prerequisite to mar-
riage. What they fail to
understand is that a good
portion of married men in
Israel will never be solvent
and that marriage is still "do-
able." However, this mistaken

idea takes many men out of
the serious category for too
many years in moneyless
Jerusalem.
There are two final cate-
gories of singles who are . at
great disadvantage in
Jerusalem's singles scene.
The first category is the
divorced woman with kids.
Being 30-plus is not easy for
a woman in Israel and suc-
cessful careers don't overly
impress men. In Israel, the
ratio of men to women is in-
fluenced by war, and younger
women are available to men
who wish to start their own
families. It's tough out there
fore single mothers.
The second category of dis-
advantaged are the recently
divorced or long separated.
The American immigrant
cannot remain anonymous in
Jerusalem and reputations do
count. If a couple splits, it is
not discreet to start up with
one of the other of the shat-
tered remnants since you
might be walking into a
future mess.
You now know the rules like
a pro. Just remember to buy
a bottle of dry white wine at
the market on Friday. Armed
with the bottle as admission,
you, too, can join Jerusalem's
singles party scene. ❑

Barry Chamish is a writer who
lives in Israel

CALENDAR

COMMUNITY NETWORK
FOR JEWISH SINGLES:
Main Jewish Center gym,
co-ed - volleyball, Thurs-
day 6:30 p.m. beginner, 8
p.m. advanced; admission,
661-1000, ext. 347.

COMMUNITY NETWORK
FOR JEWISH SINGLES:
Brace Lederle Field,
Southfield, co-ed, drop-in
football, 10:30 a.m. Sun-
day, free.

COMMUNITY NETWORK
FOR JEWISH SINGLES
(25-45): Holocaust Memo-
rial Center, 6602 W.
Maple, West Bloomfield,
tour, lecture by Nate
p.m.
Garfinkel, 6:30
Wednesday, free, reserva-
tions, 661-1000, ext. 347.

CHAT SINGLE SKIERS
(21-48): Bloomfield Char-
ley's, "night on the
town" and election, 6
p.m. Thursday, free, 661-
1000, ext. 347.

ROSE SHERER SOCIAL-
ITES (55 AND UP):
Northgate East club
house, general member-
ship meeting, speaker
Max Gill of Technion, 7:30
p.m. Wednesday; free, re-
freshments, 546-6779 or
548-6850.

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