HIGH HOLY DAYS
Celebrating The
High Holy Days
With Your Children
Yom Kippur has no
obvious symbols, like
sukkahs and dreidels. But
you can still make the
holiday's theme
meaningful to children.
BARBARA DIAMOND GOLDIN
Special to the Jewish Times
he High Holy Days are
different from the other
Jewish holidays. They
do not celebrate a historical
event or a season. There is no
sukkah-decorating party or
parade with flags and apples.
There are no Maccabees,
dreidels, Hama or afikoman.
Instead, the abstract con-
cepts of sin, repentance and
asking for forgiveness are the
major focus.
During the High Holy
Days, especially Yom Kippur,
children may feel ignored
while the adults around them
pray, fast, and discuss moral
issues. However, you can help
your children feel more a part
of the holiday by taking the
time to talk to them about
sin, repentance, fasting and
forgiveness in ways they can
understand. You can include
them in some of the holiday
observances so they can
begin to experience the pro-
cess of self-examination,
spiritual cleansing and
renewal.
T
Barbara Diamond Goldin is
a writer living in the state of
Washington.
In her book, Rosh
Hashanah and Yom Kippur:
Sweet Beginnings (Holiday
House, N.Y., 1981), Malka
Drucker describes repentance
to children. She says that
sometimes we want some-
thing, but we go about get-
ting it in the wrong way. We
"miss the mark." But it's not
the end of the world because,
if we're able to use the
mistake correctly, we'll be
able to aim better the next
time.
Mrs. Drucker explains that
the "process of looking with-
in, facing one's mistake, and
doing what is necessary to
`hit the mark' is called
teshuvah: or repentance. The
root word is `shuvah: which
means turning, turning from
the wrong direction to the
right one."
After discussing repen-
tance with your child, point
out that some of our mistakes
are between us and other peo-
ple, whereas others are be-
tween us and God. For exam-
ple, lying to someone or
damaging his or her property
is a mistake between two peo-
ple. Not being thankful for
what we have or not including
God in our lives through
prayer is between us and God.
Ted Albano
On Yom Kippur, we pray for
forgiveness from God for the
wrongs we have done between
us and God. If we have
wronged another person, we
don't ask God for forgiveness
on Yom Kippur. We go to that
person before Yom Kippur,
admit our wrong, and ask
that they forgive us. Children
can participate in this tradi-
tion of asking forgiveness of
others whom they have hurt.
Arlene Rossen Cardozo
suggests using the Erev Yom
Kippur meal as an opportuni-
ty to carry out this custom
within the family. (Jewish.
Family Celebrations, St. Mar-
tin's Press, N.Y., 1982). She
says, "Each family member
wants to make sure to begin
the new year without buried
grudges toward another, so
each takes a turn recalling
hurts he believes he may
knowingly or unknowingly
have inflicted upon each of
the others. Rather than to try
to justify the words or acts,
the person requests that his
behavior be forgiven and
forgotten."
Tb help you talk with your
child about the sins between
man and God, read the story
of Jonah. A beautiful picture
book version is available
called Jonah and the Great
Fish by Warwick Hutton
(Atheneum, N.Y., 1983). The
story centers on what hap-
pens when Jonah disobeys
God's command to preach to
the people of Nineveh.
Once, I shared this story
with a Sunday school class.
When I came to the part
where Jonah runs away from
God and boards a boat at
Joppa, a four-year old called
out, "But you can't run away
from God:
That was exactly what
Jonah discovered. In the bel-
ly of the big fish, Jonah
prayed to God to forgive him
for his disobedience. After the
fish vomited him onto dry
land, Jonah set out for
Nineveh to persuade its peo-
ple to give up their wicked
ways.
Jonah is an example of
someone who makes a mis-
take, prays to God for forgive-
ness, and starts again. The
story also shows God's for-
giveness of Jonah and
Nineveh. Because of its
theme of repentance and
forgiveness, the Book of
Jonah is read during the
afternoon service on Yom
Kippur.
Once your child has some
grasp of the concepts of sin
and repentance, he can par-
ticipate in a new custom.
Before Yom Kippur, you
can sit down with your child
and think about the past
year. Write the things for
which you're sorry on slips of
paper. You can also write peo-
ple you forgive on other slips
of paper. Young children can
dictate their sentences to
adults. When Yom Kippur is
over, you and your child can
burn these papers, to help you
feel that you are really start-
ing over.
Daniel and Hanna Siegel
initiated the above custom in
the Sim Shalom Minyan in
Vancouver, British Columbia,
Canada. They asked people
not to write specific names on
their slips of paper. Then, at
an appropriate time during
the Yom Kippur service, each
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