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The dismay of the party,
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Or heaven knows what you'll see when
you take your dog or cat to the
veterinarian's office.

ANGELA BORNEMANN

Special to The Jewish News

aking my dog Caspar
to the veterinarian
is fast becoming my
favorite spectator sport.
Where else can one witness
comedy, melodrama, and real
life medical emergencies,
without commercial interup-
tion, where the principal
players are dogs, cats, gerbils,
anacondas or any other
creature that a human may
have taken to heart as a pet?
The owners, many of whom
bear an uncanny resemblance
to their pets, are just as
intriguing.
A recent visit to the vet did
not disappoint.
Arriving a full half-hour
before evening hours began I
positioned Caspar seventh in
line behind three yowling
cats, a female Labrador
retriever whose owner claim-
ed that it had fallen victim to
a canine "Romeo" who had
snuck into the house, a
miniature schnauzer with a
cold, and a rabbit. The crowd-
ed waiting room was no sur-
prise. My vet does not sched-
ule individual appointments
and weekday evenings are
prime time for owners with

T

daytime jobs.
Where is mother nature
when you need her? On the

television show "The Walt-
oils,- Grandpa always said
that "nature has a way of
taking care of her own." A
constipated cow, a snake with
a back ache, a chicken with a
bent wing — the "nature"
principle never failed. Per-
sonally, I do not think that
domesticated pets are familiar
with Grandpa's theory.
When Caspar gets really sick,
like the time he ate two
philodendrons, a cactus
plant, and a peck of potting
soil, it seems that only a $100
visit to the vet can effect a
cure.
I doubt that nature ever
could have healed Poopsie,
the four-month-old golden
retriever puppy who became
the evening's first, and
perhaps most memorable,
emergency case.
Carried into the office in
the arms of her mistress,
Poopsie was the picture of
health. Except for the six-
inch red and orange plastic
fishing lure dangling from her
nose. One prong of the lure's
wickedly sharp three-prong
barbed hook was neatly
threaded through the tiny
black nostrils like some
misplaced punk earring.
"I was trying to catch a
fish with my fishing rod," an-
nounced Jason, Poopsie's five-

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