HEAVY-
t HANDED
SEARCH
FOR MR.
t WONDERFUL
4
likh ■-■6
11111M11111111111111111.11
SHERI KASH
Special to The Jewish News
I did not write because I was
desperate. I wrote because I was not
desperate. A series of month-long,
failed relationships with uninterest-
ing men who were going nowhere
convinced me that a dating service
could not hurt.
My parents' pleas of "Make sure
he's Jewish" suddenly did not seem
so unreasonable or against my
pseudo-intellectual beliefs that I
could not help who I was attacted to
and that if I hit it off with someone
on an intellectual and spiritual level
it would not matter if he was a
pygmy.
They had a point.
I faced the fact that I was raised
in a distinctly Jewish home. My
views of the world and my values
were basically those of my parents to
whatever degree I differed.
I had just quit a job I loved in
an effort to pursue a career in writ-
ing. My plan was, and still is, to be-
come successful and worry about
marriage and a family later, if at
all.
However, I wanted companion-
ship.
I wrote to a Jewish service
whose ads claimed that they treated
each applicant with the personal at-
tention of a good friend — how could
I go wrong?
My letter explained how I was
petrified but would get up enough
chutzpah to participate in their pro-
gram if they contacted me soon. I
also expressed how I felt about mar-
riage and that I wanted someone for
companionship, not a relationship
. someone who could enjoy a
baseball game as well as a foreign or
Three Stooges film festival.
Early Sunday morning I was
jostled out of bed to answer a phone
call. The older woman on the other
end was from the dating service and
she had called as soon as she could
in an effort to preserve my nerve.
I honestly admitted that I
J.s
Society has some
hang-ups when your
body strays from
the ultimate
Art by Neil Beckman
thought I had lost it but she con-
vinced me it would be painless.
It was so nice that you wrote,"
she said. "We really need young
girls. Answer some questions for me
before you come in. How tall are
you? Are you tall and thin?
"No," I answered. "Actually I'm
rather short and round."
"How tall are you?"
"Five foot three," I answered.
"Good. Good, that works well.
And how much do you weigh?"
"What?"
"Well, you said round. How
round?"
"Actually I weigh a lot more
than I look," I replied.
I was trying to stall for time. I
am aware that I weigh more than I
should but it never mattered much. I
was an attractive, smart, Jewish
woman, not a horse up for trade.
"I am not pathetic looking," I
assured her.
"Let's be honest," she said.
"Exactly how much do you weigh?
Normally we have our prospective
clients come in for a consultation but
if you are seriously overweight,
well . ."
I told her I weighed between one
amount and another.
"Oh-h-h," she sighed with disap-
pointment. "Maybe I can't help you
after all. All our men request thin
women. I can't disappoint them.
They get mad and we get com-
plaints. I can't have that. It's very
important. They want made-to-order
— I can't dissappoint them."
"No, you certainly can't do
that," I said mockingly.
"Why don't you think about it a
while."
"Well, I certainly will."
And she hung up.
I sat and thought and surpris-
ingly enough I was not humiliated.
If they were concerned with the
Jewish community it was concern
only for thin Jewish women. Larger
Jewish women like myself could go
ahead with those pygmies.
Honestly, these are not sour
grapes. I'm a little disappointed, not
only with the dating service and
their treatment, but with our society
and, more specifically, Jewish
society.
It is sad to think that we have
traded in our human values for a
plate full of glitz and meaningless
"swank" images and sadder yet that
a dating service would cater to this.
That's business though.
They are performing a service to
the best of their ability and have to
work with what they get. I do not
doubt that every Jewish man in the
world would like a Christie Brinkley
(personally I'd like a Pierce Brosnan)
but that's fantasy. That's for fun.
Isn't it?
In reality and particularly in my
Jewish reality, I always thought
mates should be spiritually and in-
tellectually matched. The sexual at-
traction would be a natural offshoot.
Sometimes I forget that this is
1986 and we're waiting to be blown
off the face of the earth so we ha-
ven't got time to let things progress
at a rate slower than answering a
want ad.
My father always told me to use
my brain and my heart. He told me
Jews were enlightened and that
knowledge, -love and truth belonged
to me. That's what I had been raised
to think. So where were those other
enlightened Jews my father told me
about?
I'm making an appeal to those
Jewish women who feel unwanted
because they are not married yet.
Unfortunately, I know too many of
them. Intelligent, sharp, sensitive
Continued on next page