he din of the Sunday break- fast crowd at Vassili's Family Dining hushes noticeably when they come through the door. The tiny old woman leads the way. Behind her – clumsy, noisy, beaming – come the five retarded men and their atten- dant. The woman, functionally blind, does not see the stares of the other guests – she feels them. "I feel sorry for people who stare," she has said. "I want them to know that we are bet- ter, that we are special." Volunteer Faye Sills 0-1- flE 11\11) F RICHE With a sparkle, Faye Sills cares for the residents of ten Haverim Homes for the retarded 111111111111 ■ 1111110 LISA POLLAK Special to The Jewish News 48 Friday, August 15, 1986 THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS For the woman, 77-year-old Faye Sills of Oak Park, breakfast at Vassili's makes up a small part of a large job. A volunteer friend and aid to retarded people, Sills holds a job that has spanned 30 years of hard work without time clocks and weekly pay checks. Yet the rewards of working with the "children" (a label Sills applies to adults with a child's mentality despite the correc- tion of supervisors)replace money in value. And Sills, the recent winner of the Jewish Association for Re- tarded Citizens' "Volunteer of the Year Award," says she could spend weeks discussing her lifetime's worth of "wealth." "I wanted to do something for someone else. Now this is my life. This means more to me than any- thing in the world. If I can help just one of these children, I feel that I did everything that my heart wants me to do." Sills traces the root of her inter- est in the retarded back to her childhood, where — from her home in Poland, to New Jersey, to Detroit — she fondly gathered up groups younger than herself to play. Quite simply, Sills has always enjoyed the company of children. She continued this concern for children's welfare by taking carloads of clothing with her late husband, Philip, to Lapeer State Home over 30 years ago. But it was about that same time when deter- iorating retinas caused her vision to fail. Eager to stay productive by working with her hands, she crafted over 500 yarn dolls, dolls that be- came gifts for patients at a rehabili- tation center at Fort Custer. So began a ceaseless chain of giving to the retarded. "I'd rather work with those who are handicapped or retarded than normal children. They give you the love right back when you teach them. All they've got to do is look at you and say one word. They give you a different kind of love than a nor- mal child. To me they're the best in the world." Though her love and desire to help have brought Sills from Fort Custer to the Sister Kenny Founda- tion to — most recently — JARC's Haverim group homes, the bulk of her time and experience came at Plymouth State Home. Sills, accom- panied by her husband when he did not have to work, aided the staff when PSH opened a new building for the retarded in the early 1960s. She remembers the surprise of building superintendent Dr. Robert Jaslow when he realized that the man set- ting up beds and the woman chang- ing diapers were lovingly enthusias- tic, yet unpaid. While Sills' dedica- tion never waned, her proficiency in working with retarded children and adults made her an asset to the staff and a friend to the residents. Trained in the basic elements of physical therapy by a professional at Plymouth, she began to fully realize the improvements that caring therapy and constant attention can make in the lives of the retarded. "It's making a difference if you stand in a room and work with a child and then, all of a sudden, you see a little child standing against the wall who never, never got up from the wheelchair. And she gets up and stands up against the wall and yells: 'Mrs. Sills, Mrs. Sills, look — look — look!' and is yelling like anything, 'I'm standing, I'm stand- ing, I'm finally standing alone!' " Jerry Provencal, director of the Macomb-Oakland Regional Center for the handicapped and retarded, first met Mrs. Sills when he was a social worker at Plymouth. He re- members being "struck by this ex- traordinary woman," who worked as long and hard as the staff but "did it with a zest, vitality, and affection sometimes lacking in those receiving money. She obviously cared about the people; she was like a flower on the moon," he says. Indeed, the hours and years that Sills worked without financial gain often surprise those know her story: after all, it wasn't as though her husband was wealthy. Yet Sills admits refusing payment at Plymouth, explaining briefly that she wanted the freedom to do as she pleased to benefit her children." "Besides, even as a kid I'd never take anything from someone else. My brother and I were the ones that sold the most Liberty Bonds in New Jersey and New York. It must have been born in me. But never would I take for myself. You see, I'm very proud. Even when times were bad I wouldn't take help from .no one. The only time I'll take — and then I'll take anything — is if they give it to me for the kids. Then I'll take and take and take." Unfortunately, as Sills remarks almost bitterly, it is no longer a matter of "taking" but of struggling to find the dollars that automaticlly translate into gifts or treats or par- ties for her "kids." Though she has managed to present such gifts to the 60 residents of the ten Haverim Homes on a monthly basis, according to JARC's Executive Director Joyce Keller, the lack of money has turned Sills' dream of owning a group home into a fading hope. But she con- tinues to sell her handmade pot hol- ders, baby clothes and mittens and continues to search for inexpensive breakfast specials at area restau- - rants. For since she envisioned and began the practice with her husband Continued on Page 58