Bob's Place

HAIRSTYLING FOR MEN

Bring in a Friend and receive a
Men's Hairstyle

ABSOLUTELY

FREE!

I Shoe Shine & Manicures Available

26555 Evergreen Rd.
In the Travelers Tower
Smithfield

I

New clients only

355-1199

By appointment

20%

OFF

(Excluding Sale Items)

ALL WINES BY THE BOTTLE
OR BY THE CASE

French, German, California, Etc. Etc.

The Vineyards
Wine Cellar

emergencies—and much more.
To know that Savta (grand-
mother) was available and
close by added to my peace of
mind—and the children's.
With that kind of support,
why did I close throttle?
Many reasons come to mind:
Twenty years ago, there were
not many models of women
with young children who
worked full-time. A husband,
five children, a large con-
gregation demanded a mas-
sive output of emotional
energy, which did not leave
much for preoccupation with
a full-time career. There was
also fear of success, a phen-
omenon well documented and
experienced by many women
like myself.
Day care was not available.
Even if it had been, it likely
would not have been an op-
tion for. us. To bundle up
three, four, five children on a
wintry morning . . . not possi-
ble. Besides, I would not have
been happy to park a child in
day care for most of its wak-
ing day, and I was not willing
to turn over to a surrogate
the better part of raising the
children. As it was, I turned
over plenty, but there was a
limit, and a full-time career
would hare been beyond it.
Who knew where the missing
links would turn up—in a
decade or two, a generation
or two? Although I did have
some wonderful housekeep-
ers, even among the best, I
never found one who could
tender as patient, loving and
firm a hand as Yitz or I.

But his career was begin-
ning to take off, and I tried to
free him as much as possible.
I would no more have thought
of applying the brakes on him
than he would to my career
now. Though we never dis-
cussed it, there existed a
sense of partnership in our
respective tasks. We both
worked hard, yet neither of
us would have wanted to
change our roles. I was for-
tunate that his salary cov-
ered our basic necessities.
Our priorities were not fur-
niture, a new car, or a week-
end in Aspen. Other than a
housekeeper, we lived quite
sparingly. It was a rude
awakening, the day I realized
I no longer had a choice.
I knew that I had the best
of both worlds—on-site
mothering and part-time
career. In my more prescient
moments, I was aware that
my time for career would
eventually come. Thus,
though I often did feel a sense
of urgency, I did not overly
grieve for occasional feelings
of "life passing me by." I
thoroughly enjoyed what I
was doing. For all the mo-
ments of drudgery, exhaus-
tion and fatigue, there were
many more of satisfaction
and even of euphoria. In the
trade-off that life inexorably
demands, I would take ten
dulleries to one high and con-
sider myself fortunate. But
the odds were far better than
that.
Curiously, I found the flex-
ibility of part-time work

equally appropriate past the
childhood years. You can
alter the schedules of small
children to suit your own, but
adolescents and teenagers
cannot be so easily pro-
grammed. Two of our child-
ren never liked coming to an
empty house after school;
this is their right and their
privilege, even as teenagers.
Moreover, living in these
times demands greater atten-
tion to security factors, in-
cluding a 14-year-old's trans-
portation in the quiet sub-
urbs. Most suburban mothers
I know spend many hours
carpooling, or living with
anxieties.
Most of all, I was never a
great believer in quality time,
though I must admit it does
work for many. Yitz can get
right into the heart of things
in a conversation standing on
one foot in the hallway. A
friend who owns a raincoat
factory and works nine or ten
hours a day has a magnifi-
cent relationship with her
12-year-old daughter. But I
need. a great deal of hands-on
time. And a big family sure-
ly made a difference. With a
full-time career there would
simply not have been enough
quality minutes left over for
five growing children. On the
contrary, I had to compen-
sate for the situation as it
was. For many years, I would
keep a child home from
school, one at a time, every
few weeks, for a "day off": a
trip downtown, a few hours
at F.A.O. Schwarz, an ice-

t

a cheese, deli & gourmet shop
23418 NORTHWESTERN HWY. Bet. Middlebelt & Orchard Lake Rd.

PHONE: 855-WINE

1

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A Custom Creation

By appointment only. Call 557-0001.

29

