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Peres says the Cleveland Indians will fade in June.
Shimon Peres will soon become
thg manager of the New York
Yankees, the Jewish Blues has
Peres based his decision on his
lifetime love of baseball, accord-
ing to a spokesman, but insiders
say that the Prime Minister
doesn't know a bunt from a shut-
out and that his decision was
based on his desire to avoid join-
ing a Jerusalem government
headed by Yitzhak Shamir,
which was scheduled to come
about in October when the two
leaders were to rotate jobs.
"Come October, Shamir will be
in the Knesset and I'll be in the
World Serious," Peres reportedly
told an aide who quickly cor-
rected his boss' reference to
baseball's Fall Classic.
Another factor was Yankee
owner George Steinbrenner's im-
patience with current manager
Lou Pinella. "He hasn't won a
pennant for us," growled Stein-
brenner of Pinella, even though
his team is in first place and the
season is only a month old. It is
believed that Steinbrenner feels
Peres will draw more Jewish fans
to Yankee Stadium.
Rumors have it that Peres and
Pinella may rotate jobs for six
months a year, with Pinella
managing the Yankees during
the off-season. As for running the
Israeli government, Pinella said
he's not worried. "It's always the
off-season over there," he said.
The Devil In Mr. Ed'
It doesn't surprise me in the
least to hear that a fundamen-
talist preacher in the Southwest
has discovered that when you
play the theme song for the old
"Mr. Ed" TV sitcom backward,
you get a satanic message. Any-
one who ever watched the show
knows that the talking horse was
the work of the devil. And that
whoever bought the sponsor's
product was a participant in
But the implications of the
whole cult of backwards-record
playing have,me puzzled. First of
all, you've got to be a bit odd to go
around playing records back-
ward. Either that or a fan of im-
itation Swedish, which is what
backwards English sounds like.
Besides that, you've got to be pre-
tty sophisticated technologically
in order to play records back-
wards in the first place. I can't
get my LP turntable to do it, or
my tape recorder. The people who
manage to crank their players
backwards must have special
And if the theme song from
"Mr. Ed." contains a secret
satanic message, what about the
theme from "Taxi?" Even though
it has no words, I just know that
the nasty little dispatcher in the
TV show, the one played by
Danny DeVito, is sneaking awful
harmonic variations into the
music. For all we know, he may
even be the devil incarnate.
The possibilities are appar-
ently endless. I'm sure that right
now, as we speak, there is an
evangelist somewhere who is
feverishl3 loading the grooves of
the latest Bruce Springsteen re-
cordings with exhortations to
find God, and that if you play the
Boss' records backward, all you
get is "amens." Or possibly,
"Praise the Lord."
Spies could use the technique,
too. You can't tell me that the
CIA isn't inserting secret mes-
sages into the reverse sound of
"The Marriage of Figaro" or re-
cordings of Dylan Thomas read-
ing his own poetry.
It's a great opportunity for
creative expression. You know,
avant garde music, noises for the
latest kind of kinetic sculpture,
people hoping to learn the inflec-
tions of Swedish or Norwegian.
The list is limited only by one's
I don't know why all* of this
backwards record-playing should
be monopolized by the satanists.
It sounds like a great gimmick to
me; and if people are nuts enough
to go playing their recordings in
reverse, why not take advantage
of their madness? Hmm. I wonder
what Hava Nagila sounds like in
' :mW „ •
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