3 Jewish Information Service LIGHT SIDE Monday-Friday 9:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. "I just discovered that it isn't the Omer that Michael has been counting every night-- it's the number of days until school lets out for the summer!" Make My Day: , Call Me Mister! BY ARTHUR J. MAGIDA Special to The Jewish News This is not an age of great ' manners . Kids no longer call their elders "Sir" or "Madam." They no longer let old-timers step to the front of the line at the neighborhood bijou. They don't• voluntarily stop their cars at in- tersections so mothers can cross with baby strollers or school chil- dren, clad in colorful pinafores, can hop, skip and jump uninter- rupted on their way to their daily lessons. Well, all this, I'll admit, is probably the grumbling of some- one getting on in years (much be- fore his time?• In the late night quiet of my study or in the pri- vacy of my car, I mumble to my- self that the kids, the very people who will carry on all that is Good and Noble in Western Civiliza- tion, are going straight to the dogs. And I fret that the world, as we know it, is turning out to be a short-lived affair, that every- thing Decent about the American Way is about as ephemeral as stardust. At such moments, I gnash my teeth and rend my garments and think about skipping town. Either Tahiti or England will do. Tahiti sounds great because once you're there, so I hear, you don't give much of' a hoot about any- thing. And England sounds dandy because at least some manners have been preserved the,re, even among the Great Unwashed — the Kids. Heck, just look at Prince Charles and his sweetheart, that lovely Diana. Two sweeter, better mannered kids couldn't be found anywhere. But then I pause -- either for reflection or because I'm tired, I'm not sure which. And in that pause, I think about how my own manners have slipped. I, too, have lost, some of the basics of common decency. Rarely do I call people by the proper terms of re- spect that I was taught by .Miss Dyer, my dreaded fifth grade teacher. Miss Dyer spent weeks drilling her reluctant pupils on what to call those in better posi- tions of life than the rest of us. Unfortunately for Miss Dyer, she . had such a class of dimwits that she soon regretted her career choice. Clearly, whatever Miss Dyer was trying to get across to us 10- year-olds didn't take root. When, for instance, did Tlast doff my hat to a passing lady? When did I last pull out a chair for a oman as we were about to dine? And when was the last time I referred to the late Josef Vissarionovich Stalin as Mr. Stalin, as surely the leader , of a great nation should be called? Or Richard Nixon Mr. Ni- xon? Or Eva Peron Mrs. Peron? Or the trendy rock star Madonna as Ms. Madonna? It's obvious that there have been repercussions from my poor manners. I've been rebuffed again and again by' the gentry. Not once has my name — let alone my picture — appeared in Towh and Country. Not once has my pied a terre been featured in Architectural Digest. Not once has my family tree been featured in American Heritage.. I guess a more sensible guy would say to himself, "Listen, buster, your family tree is about the size of a bonsai and you ain't even got a pied a terre. You don't even know how to pronounce pied • a terre. So clam up." Clamming, I'll admit, is not in my natuie, especially . when manners — my manners — are at stake. But now that I realize just how, . rude I can sometimes be, now that I realize that I've brought shame to the good name of my fifth grade teacher, I guess I'd better stifle my kvelling about the younger generation. Big deal if it's been decades since I've seen' a white-haired, gent ushered to the front of a line at a movie theater. Big deal if I haven't been called "Sir" in years — except by my own kids and then only on allowance day. I'm not even sure just what I called those who had a couple of decades on me when I was a kid. Well, I know what I called them behind their back, but we won't go into that. For one thing, this is a fam- ily publication. , • • . . . NEW '86 :900 TURBO 1 DR. White w/Red Leather, 5 Speed, Air, Elec-Sunroof, Tinted Glass, Power Wind., Power Locks, Elec. Mirrors, Elec. R. Defpg., AM/FM Stereo Cass. w/Graphic Equalizer, Perelli Tires and Much More Stk. #006. LEASE $ FOR 57 .07 • Per Mo. NEW '86 900.3 DR 5 Speed, Sand w/Tan Int., Air Cond., Tinted Glass, Power Locks, Elec. Mirrors, Elec. R. Defog., Perelli Tires and Muc4More. Stk. #S023. • LEASE $ FOR • PlatinuM Blue w/Grey Int., Air Cori& Tinted Glass, Power Wind.; • Power Locks, Elec. Mirrors,, Elec. R. Defog„ AM/FM - Stereo Cass., Perelli Tites and Much More. Stk. #S037. LEASE FOR Per Mo. • • 44 . .. .... r Mo NEW '86 900S NEW '86 900S 4 DR. Malichite Green when Int., 5 Speed, Sunroof, Air Cond., Tinted Glass, Power Wind., Power Locks, Elec. Mirrors, Elec. R. Defog., AM/FM Stereo Cass., Perelli Tires and Much More. Stk. #S023. LEASE FOR , $2 13. 96 6 . . .... • ...... mo. • • • a.' •