•
3
URGENT
READY MADE
FRAMES
LIGHT SIDE
5x7 thru 16x20
5r4 OFF
of custom
frame pricing
including:
10x13 Frames
4 to accommodate
children's
portraits from K-Mart,
Sears, Penney's, etc.
FIELD. ART STUDIO
2646 Coolidge Hwy., s
•
oft I MOO
Berkley
399-1320 or 399-1327
HRS: 9-S Mon -Sat or by appointment a
Hebrew Educational Center
desperately needs either a
Station Wagon or Van
to transport children.
If you have one of these vehicles that you
do not need, why not donate it to us!
DO A MITZVAH
AS WELL AS GAINING A TAX DEDUCTION
626-7023 or 548-2666
.411111ININI ■
c2Ipt1f
"I wish that my children would have babies already. (!
I was hoping to be a grandmother before I become
an old Bubbe."
Energy Crisis Answer:
Watch 'Out For Carpets
,711c o f as at gfads
11, 1986
tna )2
V i ddn2ogitE-,SE
ogould fikE to tfiatik
out etatotr2vcs fot making out
#T097.con t4E most saccEslittf
5.75% financi)2,9
#toyzatri 02 oat
fhtstoty.
BY SHERWOOD D. KOHN
Special to The Jewish News
I know now why motorcycle
freaks — the potbellied, stringy-
hairs, leather clad, Atilla the Hun
types — are into chains.
It's to drain off static electricity..
And I'm going to do the same.
Maybe a few links hanging off my
belt would do the trick. Or a
couple of steel chains attached to
my pants cuffs. If irworks for
tanker trucks, it ought to work for
me.
Heaven knows I'm going to
have to do something. The shocks
Light switches and
water coolers have
become ominous
objects.
are becoming too painful. It's all I
can do to keep from yelping each
time I touch a light switch. And if
I shuffle across the carpet, it's like
strapping on the electrodes in the
Death House.
My boss thought he was doing
us a favor by installing carpeting
throughout the office. But it is ny-
lon, and you can't walk two feet on
it without accumulating enough
static electricity to make your
hair stand on end.
Word has spread about that
particular effect. We've had
people coming in from other
offices just to watch casual vis-
itors' carefully combed hair turn
into fright wigs. The other day a
whole crowd of punk rockers col-
lected in the officeit was facinat-
ing. They walked in, formed a cir-
cle and held hands while they all
shuffled their feet and made their
hair stand out like so many dan-
delions. Then one of them went
around with a can of hair spray
.
and embalmed his colleagues'
noggins. The office smelled of lac-
quer for hours.
. Of course, punkers aren't our
only problems. Whenever you
walk across the office and touch
the front door, a spark big enough
to zap Pittsburgh jumps between
your finger and the handle. The
other day, a salesman was struck
down in the outer office when he,
tried to pinch our receptionist.
Some of the ladies were overhead
muttering about divine retribu-
tion.
As I understand things, it all
has to do with the movement of
positively and negatively charged
electrons, but just how they move
and where they gather before they
leap the gap between my finger
and the door handle is beyond me.
Frankly, I can't figure out what
makes them so eager to make that
kind of leap. Maybe it's a kind of
enthusiasm for doors or door
handles that electrohs have.
Electrons, according to every-
thing I know about them, are very
peculiar little devils. I suspect
that they are like a crowd of
crazed teenagers jostling each
other at the gate to a rock concert,
just aching to jump past the guard
as soon as he opens the doors.
That's probably why the spark is
so hot and hurts my finger so
much when I get near anything
metal. Imagine all that acne and
unrest trying to get through at
once. Would Clearasil help? •
Never mind. Even if it did you
wouldn't want to go around
smearing it on doorknobs. Chains
are the best solution I've heard
recently, and I'm going down to
the hardware store to pick some
up. My only problem is how to get
out of the front door without
blackihg out the whole neighbor-
hood.
aank gou agoin, oz
yout stc*ott anzi
• #attona9E. (WE rook
fotaxvici to inEEtihs yout
f utuzE automotivE 1-2,EEcts.
-
,
•
LASSIVIAN
28000 Telegraph at Tel-Twelve Mall
Open 'di BOO Mon. & Thurs. Eves.
M Y.
r it
N
354-3300