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BY MICHAEL ELKIN
Special to The Jewish News
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Dr. Joyce Brothers; Offering Advice.
Joyce such relationships are usually
Psychologist Dr.
Brothers is ever mindful about the ones who line up JAPs in
what makes a Jewish family their telescopes.
But not all is hunky-dory with
work. After all, hers has worked
well itself for years: The former Jewish families, says Brothers.
Joyce Bauer has been married "Historically, there has been a
happily to Dr. Milton Brothers, segregation of women in terms
an internist, both proud parents of 'You do the (house) work and
of daughter Lisa: free us for studying."
There has also been the prob-
Brothers, 56, points with pride
to the high standards that lem of assimilation, with some
Jewish men and women share, Jewish families lighting their
which makes them click to- menorahs alongside their
Chanukah bushes. Jews, how-
gether so well. "In Jewish ever, says Brothers, are cooling
families, men and women are on the Melting Pot. "Jews
freer to bicker with each other everywhere are trying to hold
than most other groups," but onto their roots," she says. "It is
leis prone to physical violence, easier now to do so; there is not
. she says.
as much pressure to assimilate."
"We are comfortable with
Nevertheless, says Brothers,
each other:: she adds. In non- Jewish families should stand
Jewish environments, "the male sentry, guarding agbinst inter-
is taught to be afraid of his marriage. "We do need to be
emotions — if you were to call concerned, particularly in the
on your banker and you were
told he.was sobbing in the office, area of intermarriage," she says.
you'd think twice about banking "Jewish families do not try to
proselytize others. But every
there.
"But in Jewish families, men time I speak in Utah, someone
are not afraid of their emotions. is trying to proselytize me."
Brothers herself does not try
They learn to bicker and love
very deeply. We always have to proselytize; she is just offer-
been freer to love, hate, fight ing advice. "We need to rethink
and make up. There is a ver- our ideas of failure," she says.
balization in Jewish families;• "Each error that we make puts
they rarely come to blows. Other us on the road to success."
Brothers has traveled that
families who do not have a ver-
balization process often resort to road for quite a while. She is
blows, fighting in a sniper way." aware of its potholes, however;
Jewish women have, been the the business of offering advice
targets of sniper attacks from has its risks, Brothers admits.
"When you give advice to
non-Jews, as well as Jews, who
stereotype them as pampered people, you are always in a vul-
princesses whose .thrones are nerable position. WIAch reminds
made up with fresh linen every- me of a paper my daughter
wrote about Socrates when she
day by outside help.
"There is a certain amount 'of was a youngster," she offers
envy" in those attacks, says with a smile.
"'Socrates was a very wise
Brothers. "In Jewish families,
there is a lot of pampering back man,' she wrote. 'He gave advice
and forth between husband.and to people.'"
Pause. 'They poisoned him."'
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