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December 06, 1985 - Image 41

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1985-12-06

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

AKIVA HEBREW DAY SCHOOL

wishes to thank

FOUR SEASONS FORMAL WEAR

17736 W. 13 MILE ROAD — BIRMINGHAM
FOR PROVIDING MERCHANDISE FOR AKIVA
AUCTION '85 —
which will be held Saturday, Dec. 14th
beginning at 7:30 p.m. in the Akiva Building

Friday, December 6, 1985 41

Celia Schwartz would like to thank all her family
and many friends for the thoughtful contributions,
cards, and flowers sent during her recent hospital
stay and recovery.



How was David? About the
same as usual, undisturbed by
barrages of parental artillery.
Ed tried to be philosophical.
It's tough to be philosophical
about a topic that causes most
of your aggravation.
"I guess we can't blame
him," said Ed. He moved for-
ward on the edge of his chair
and mulled that over for a mo-
ment. "He's 22 now. Look
what he was up against when
he was growing up. He had to
compete against his own moth-
er. Those were his most im-
pressionable years. No matter
how well he did, he could never
be as good. There she was, rais-
ing the family, running Hadas-
sah, keeping the house in or-
der, and still getting A's in
school. How could he hope to
compete? So he stopped trying
and dropped out."
Sounded reasonable to me.
Who knows what makes a kid
tick. We were willing to guess.
Armchair psychology. It's a
harmless parlor game. Any
number can play, with no win-
ner and no loser, no right, no
wrong.
"It's amazing," said Ed
after a while, and with a hollow
laugh. "The guilt we take on
ourselves. If David's mother
had been a complete slattern,
a misfit, a total moron, we
would say, 'Oh, the poor child.
How can we expect him to ac-
complish anything with a
mother like that.' If the
mother is good, it's our fault.
If the mother is bad, it's our
fault. Whatever the circum-
stance is, we set it up so that
we are guilty."
We think that because these
kids were born into our fami-
lies and pass through our lives,
we are going to mold them so
that they come out the way we
want, with all of our good fea-
tures and none of our failings.
The kids don't want to do
that. They want to make their
own mistakes, even make some
of ours again. They are not go-
ing to do what we want them
to do, sometimes only because
we want them to do it.
I don't know why Ed can't
see that. It's so obvious to me.
David is going to do exactly
what David wants to do. Ed
isn't responsible for David's
actions. He can't change them.
Ed knows that. He just
doesn't want to believe it. It is
perfectly clear to me.
My relationship with my son
is completely different.
Anyone can see that. The prob-
lem is that early on, I didn't
have this awareness. If only a
few years ago. when he was
younger, I had

Morocco Visit

New York — The United
Jewish Appeal President's Mis-
sion to Israel in January will
have a pre-mission option of a
four-day visit to Morocco.

Thanks again, Celia

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