40 Friday, December 6, 1985 THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS INSIGHT Sisterhood of Adat Shalom Synagogue presents GALA ART AUCTION Sunday, Dec. 8, 1985 Preview 7-8 pm Auction 8 pm Parental Guilt BY WOLF BLITZER Special to The Jewish News Adat Shalom Synagogue 29901 Middlebelt Road Farmington Hills, MI 48018 Admission: $1.50 per person Includes Reception and Gift Lithograph to each attending family for Reservations Call: 851-5100 Tickets also available at the door I was sitting around talking my friend Ed when, as usual, the subject of children came up. There must be other topics equally as fascinating, but among Jewish parents, this one seems to be the favor- ite. Speaking about children re- quires a certain amount of pa- tience and understanding. The rules are simple. In order to complain about your children, you have to listen to someone else tell about their troubles. It helps to know the kids that your friends are talking about; otherwise, the discussion is limited to faceless examples of interest only to the speaker. It is amazing how the prob- lems of other parents pale be- sides yours. It's easy to be ra- tional, sympathetic and objec- tive with someone else's dif- ficulties. The answers are so simple. The steps to take are so clear. What keeps us from imple- menting these clear, simple so- lutions in our own case is Par- ental Guilt. Back to my conversation with Ed. Ed has a lovely wife, Bar- bara, and four perfectly nice kids. I know them all. Barbara has put in her time in the kit- chen, the playground, and the Temple youth group. When the youngest of those four kids was Bar Mitzvahed a few years ago, Barbara started thinking about doing some- thing for herself. She'd had a with •Aerobics • Indoor & Outdoor Pools • Nautilus & Universal Equipment • Saunas • Whirlpools • Gym • Individualized Fitness Programs • Restaurant • Lounge & More initiate FEE! LIMITED TIME OFFER! HAMILTON PLACE ATHLETIC & SOCIAL CLUB 30333 Southfield Rd. Between 12 & 13 Mile Rds. CALL 646-8990 Richard Newman is a writer who lives in New York City. remarkably good education in chemistry. That's what she lik- ed. That's what she wanted to do. She told her husband that she wanted to go back to school, get her master's degree and go to work. Ed supported her proudly, if a bit apprehen- sively. "The house isn't going to be so neat," Barbara cautioned. "It's not so neat now," said Ed. Six or seven years after that conversation, Barbara was happily working, the kids had grown up seemingly without dire consequences, and Ed and I were sitting around talking. "How's the house?" Ed shrugged. "Still not so clean." "Barbara?" "Wonderful. Terrific. Mar- velous. Loves her work." "How are the kids?" I asked. It was diplomatic to show in- terest. He would have told me anyway. "They're all fine, thanks. David ... well, David is David." Then I got the story of Da- vid, the second born, the num- ber one son. I know David. I like him. He is a little like my son, only a few years older. David is sliding through life with a minimum of effort, bare- ly trying, wanting little except for everything to be easy. He drifts aimlessly, afraid to chal- lenge himself, perhaps afraid of failure. All he wants is to be left alone and supported com- fortably. He is attractive, friendly, unmotivated, undir- ected, a heart breaker.