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December 06, 1985 - Image 40

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1985-12-06

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

40

Friday, December 6, 1985

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

INSIGHT

Sisterhood of Adat Shalom Synagogue

presents

GALA ART AUCTION

Sunday, Dec. 8, 1985
Preview 7-8 pm
Auction 8 pm

Parental Guilt

BY WOLF BLITZER
Special to The Jewish News

Adat Shalom Synagogue
29901 Middlebelt Road
Farmington Hills, MI 48018

Admission: $1.50 per person

Includes
Reception and Gift Lithograph to each
attending family

for Reservations Call: 851-5100
Tickets also available at the door

I was sitting around talking
my friend Ed when, as
usual, the subject of children
came up. There must be other
topics equally as fascinating,
but among Jewish parents,
this one seems to be the favor-
ite.
Speaking about children re-
quires a certain amount of pa-
tience and understanding. The
rules are simple. In order to
complain about your children,
you have to listen to someone
else tell about their troubles. It
helps to know the kids that
your friends are talking about;
otherwise, the discussion is
limited to faceless examples of
interest only to the speaker.
It is amazing how the prob-
lems of other parents pale be-
sides yours. It's easy to be ra-
tional, sympathetic and objec-
tive with someone else's dif-
ficulties. The answers are so
simple. The steps to take are so
clear.
What keeps us from imple-
menting these clear, simple so-
lutions in our own case is Par-
ental Guilt.
Back to my conversation
with Ed.
Ed has a lovely wife, Bar-
bara, and four perfectly nice
kids. I know them all. Barbara
has put in her time in the kit-
chen, the playground, and the
Temple youth group.
When the youngest of those
four kids was Bar Mitzvahed a
few years ago, Barbara started
thinking about doing some-
thing for herself. She'd had a

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remarkably good education in
chemistry. That's what she lik-
ed. That's what she wanted to
do.
She told her husband that
she wanted to go back to
school, get her master's degree
and go to work. Ed supported
her proudly, if a bit apprehen-
sively.
"The house isn't going to be
so neat," Barbara cautioned.
"It's not so neat now," said
Ed.
Six or seven years after that
conversation, Barbara was
happily working, the kids had
grown up seemingly without
dire consequences, and Ed and
I were sitting around talking.
"How's the house?"
Ed shrugged. "Still not so
clean."
"Barbara?"
"Wonderful. Terrific. Mar-
velous. Loves her work."
"How are the kids?" I asked.
It was diplomatic to show in-
terest. He would have told me
anyway.
"They're all fine, thanks.
David ... well, David is David."
Then I got the story of Da-
vid, the second born, the num-
ber one son. I know David. I
like him. He is a little like my
son, only a few years older.
David is sliding through life
with a minimum of effort, bare-
ly trying, wanting little except
for everything to be easy. He
drifts aimlessly, afraid to chal-
lenge himself, perhaps afraid of
failure. All he wants is to be
left alone and supported com-
fortably. He is attractive,
friendly, unmotivated, undir-
ected, a heart breaker.

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